for a decade the house on haunted hill
sat quiet yet, 'they' were within there still
creating chaos each and every day
stunts meant to keep all intruders away
but the teens, they were brave, or so they thought
waited until evening, then ghosts they sought
seven entered the house, four boys, three girls
the house came with mice, spiders and squirrels
the first noise came when looking for their bed
perhaps a squirrel, or mouse overhead
but as they tried to justify the noise
they noticed now... there were only three boys
quickly, for the teen, they began to hunt
but interupted by a growling grunt
that appeared to be coming from the hall
from closer inspection, inside the wall
they each had their own opinion to share
but most thought the teen was hidden in there
they took a vote to decide what to do
then discovered the boys down to two
panic set in and the girls were crying
they were not alone, someone was spying
but wait... how did their friends just disappear
that must have took planning to engineer
they now down to five, what once was two more
when suddenly they heard a creak of door
with flashlights in hand, they looked all around
determined to find the source of the sound
standing at door, it slammed and slammed some more
when it stopped the teens numbered only four
two boys and two girls stood in disbelief
each failed to calm the other of their grief
the decision was made that they should leave
before they dwindled down to a mere three
but prior to finding the exit way
one more teenager had now gone astray
two girls had one boy to be their hero
but when it came to clues, he had zero
nothing to help him keep the girls from harm
causing his brain to set off an alarm
not wishing to be in his position
or that three was linked to superstition
'cause that would mean the next number is six
two more would vanish to make that a fix
by the time the boy had thought this all out
his hero status lost valuable clout
standing before him was only one girl
throwing his thoughts into a frenzied whirl
clinging to his arm like a child to mama
fearing the worst kind possible drama
they search for the door that first led them in
to lead them away from the evil sin
he's very aware, one more still must go
will it be him or her, he just don't know
the sound of footsteps and some floating books
voices coming from the darkest of nooks
the two teens hurry, never losing contact
ignoring the sounds and do not react
then candles start lighting all by themselves
items begin flying right off the shelves
the boy knows he's made something evil mad
all he can say is... "I'm sorry! Egad!"
wickedness now is making the house shake
chandeliers fall as if there's an earthquake
the teens take cover, each under table
the boy looks for the girl when he's able
he calls out to her as he looks around
but as he suspected she can't be found
what once was seven is now down to one
will he too disappear when night is done
and if he survives how will he explain
or worse yet, how will he live with the pain
and why was he choosen to be the last
how did the evil one select his cast
was there rhyme or reason behind it all
does this make him lucky he didn't fall
or perhaps his time just has not yet come
and unlucky seven the total sum
yes maybe three was not the link at all
and he'll still have his final curtain call
when the clock struck midnight on the hour
the teen's stomach started turning sour
he remembered stories that had been told
fables and folklores and legends of old
stories about this house on haunted hill
ghost and their willingness to haunt and kill
and as the teen stood there scared, all alone
he heard a ring from a toy telephone
he thought, could this be what I hear and see
or are these fabled ghost now calling me
with trembling hands he reached for the small toy
fearful of words that were sure to annoy
the teen gathered courage and felt no choice
but to speak his young mind and raise his voice
we meant you no harm, we're just some young teens
who came here to celebrate Halloween
then voices emerged from a dead man's urn
to teach the lesson he was sent to learn
hush... I'll not hear no more you have to say
but let me take you back to yesterday
a time when you were brave enough to share
"I'll dare you try to scare me... double dare"
you claimed it couldn't be done, we thought so
and then brought you here to give it a go
and Halloween legends are so much fun
makes it so easy for pranks to be done...
he put the phone back on it's receiver
and released all six of his deceivers
all entered the room and took their places
proudly exposing smiles on their faces
the boy clutched his chest and fell to the ground
they watched him dying as they gathered 'round
the friends knew they had gone way too far
and rushed to get the boy out to the car
when pulling into the emergency room
the boy sat up... "Now who's the scared Baffoon?"
.
A contest entry
- BWOW~~Make-up~~#23~~with aboomer, Starz of Heaven and islekine by islekine.
700 points, ended November 6, 18 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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you are a master storyteller with this one. i loved the detail and the rhyme made it read so smoothly through that the length passed by quickly. usually longer writes lose my attention, but i held onto this. the only negative isn't with your poem... it's with my timing of reading it. should have read it the day you posted.


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Very good. Interesting and well written. It held my attention to the end. Very creative and imaginative. Great one.
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Wow~
You are Good
You just go on Girly~
Love the story and You had me hanging on the edge of my chair
Happy to see You spilling ink~
Witty You are ~ I would have mucked it all up
This is a tale to tell around the campfires

Congratulations on Your Trophy
Woot~
Yay!! 

Keep that quill dancing
Thank You for sharing Your Talent

Best wishes in all You do~
with love & light~ Desire~*~


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This is just beautifully done Suzi, what a wonderful tale you wove from start to finish with great rhyming and flow. Well worthy of the Gold and beat mine all to Hell...
Wonderful job my friend... Scott


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Wonderfully written. Many clappies, well worthy of the shiny.


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no constructive criticism - wouldn't change a thing!
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I also really enjoyed this - each time I read it! Great rhyme gives this a nice flow all the way through; wording and imagery holds the readers interest.
Great ending!
nicely done!
thank you for your entry
best wishes in the contest
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I love this!
I call it a real classic...well penned...I enjoyed it over and over...lol
Love the whole poem...but the ending is killer...lol...thanks so much for your very well penned, creative entry...a story well told! One of my favorites this week! Best wishes in the contest and always!
Write on and on...

and

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Oh wow!! This poem held me spellbound until the very last line. I LOVED the surprise ending. You have created a wonderful Halloweeen poem. Good luck in the contest, I bet you have a great chance of winning.


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Now that's a good double surprise ending! Makes up for a few technical blemishes and loose ends in the lead-up. (For which you can always blame the poltergeists). This could be a script for one of those 'make a movie in 48 hours' competitions. As a poem it would probably work best recited late at night (Halloween?) by the light of a few guttering candles, to a nervous young audience.

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