I admit it, I'm afraid.

I'm afraid to be touched,
because once I am
I won't feel pure anymore.

I'm afraid to be loved,
because I won't know what to do
when you tell me so.

I'm afraid to say yes,
because I'm not sure what will happen
afterwards.

I'm afraid to love,
because when you walk away,
how will I stop?








I have said no four times,
my reasons are lies,
because the truth hurts much more.







I.
You asked me to hold you and I was afraid because I didn't know how and I didn't want to get myself caught up in something like that.  You asked me to say yes and I couldn't because I was scared you'd hurt me like you've already done before.



II.
You asked me out on a date and I finally let myself do so but afterwards, I didn't feel that happy.  I was just tired and it all felt like a lie.  You're constantly there and I can't have that and I'm sorry, because you deserve someone so much better than me anyway.



III.
I saw you one day, it's been a long time since I had seen you.  Then we talked for a bit and you said you wanted me, you said you liked me so much.  If you liked me how come you don't talk to me anymore?  Maybe you're only one for physical interaction, other than being over the phone.  I haven't heard from you for a while and I don't know if I will.




IV.
I've known you so much longer than the others.  We used to be so close, you were like a brother to me.  How come it changed?  When did it change?  I should have known when you stared the way you did at me that it had changed.  I didn't think about that at the time though.  I don't know what to think anymore.  I admit, I'm afraid of you sometimes.












I want to be loved by someone who won't leave me, by someone who won't walk away because of a silly mistake.  I've always been good at making those.


I'm not sure what I'm doing anymore,
I'm not sure who to like and I'm not sure what it feels like to like someone.























I'm just afraid of getting hurt.