Rally Cry

Surging through the cavities and caves of having served
Confusion forming shape within my frying pan of nerves
Your message loud and clear but one I truly don’t deserve
Your voice, dry rasp of cold emasculating curvature.

If I seem a bit effaced, I am trying to find a word
That subsidizes mostly “take,”  pretending ignorance of hurt.
The "giving," when expedient, dissipating, when it’s work
Unpleasant controversy sidestepped, was it worth it to be heard?

Thought of failure premonition - that fatal radiated food
I wrestle to contain severed-bond fall-out residue
Castigation rewinds circle.  Vultures grow in magnitude
And I tremble, alone, face my fate; filled with turpitude.

What happens after this?  My body, an expose’  of flaws.
My spirit shorn of bounce and - youth’s mesmerizing draw.
Strength and purpose of my value, dignity and wisdom sawed.
Cut by surreptitious glances, ignored needs; left lost and raw.

Still, I rally.  Gather muster from the comfort of my years
Knowing I am so much more than just the tally of my tears
Anticipating fights with courage. I won’t now just disappear
Love continues, is discovered, expands, survives the cliffs of fear.

Love instigates the victory roar, my lioness battle cry
I've birthed new life, watched death, surrendered to gun & knife,
Yet even in duck season, I will spread my wings and fly
Celebrating those I love, I will live, while I’m alive.