No matter how far you stretch your thoughts,
They will not fill the whole of eternity.
Your beliefs are not pliable enough
To trace the curvature of time and space.
Your mind is too full to digest,
Dimension's empty of certainty.
Your reflection too self absorbed,
To see vision's beyond its own face.
You look out hoping to find a light of truth to revere,
Yet out there does not exist; there is only in here.
A contest entry
- Observation by sideways hourglass.
600 points, ended November 11, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
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8
I like what you're trying to say here. But the constant repetition of "your/you" and "to see/trace/etc." really got to me. I really think that with a piece like this, you need to use some attitude in your words, and it just didn't come across like that to me at all.
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