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a man matters seldomly

seldom was a man

fortunate,

 

the unforgiven

seldom greeted with

anger

 

he turned a cheek 

wet from sad beginnings

 

we embraced once

seldom saw eyes

 

contoured

 

seldom said

were the tears for a reason

 

seldom do i cry

for myself

 

often he whispered

you are random

 

 

 

 

Author notes

the trick is in how you read it

A contest entry

Ya think?

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
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Comments

1 - 12 of 12

  • sideways hourglass
    November 11
    Edit | Reply
    i agree with tegan, excellent.


    • Cannonsfire
      November 11
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks Tyler, was an interesting idea to try, I thought it worked but one never knows until someone else reads it


  • stasis
    November 10

    Edit | Reply

    1

    I think that this is fantastic, the brevity is amazing.
    Normally, I'm not very fond of repetition, but your use of the word "seldom" in this is highly intriguing to me. Beautiful piece.

    Best of luck in the contest


  • Amera gold member
    November 1

    Edit | Reply
    And seldom do you not write exceptional poetry. So what guy pissed you off?

    Love,
    Amera

    • Cannonsfire
      November 1
      Edit | Reply
      lol No one specific, just a whole lot of men that get me going sometimes lol but they are never 'friends' just randoms


      • Amera gold member
        November 1
        Edit | Reply
        LOL, well I see this poem turned my dear sister Mairi on!

        • Cannonsfire
          November 1
          Edit | Reply
          lol the trick is in how you read it, placing the assonation differently on each line can make the line mean something different...was trying to be clever lol Mairi is clever

  • Rowan gold member
    November 1

    Edit | Reply
    I thinks I likes this. lol. I seldom dislike anything you write, in fact, never. lol. winks.


  • Randomly Beautiful
    October 31

    Edit | Reply
    often he whispered
    you are random

    I am often told, by my husband, that I am random. He calls my 'random' moments, Trina Moments...lol.


  • Nature Song silver member
    October 31

    Edit | Reply
    Yes indeed the trick is how to read it! You do have a way of getting up on the pulpit now and then! This is one of them! lol

    Seldom indeed!

    ~Sie lol


  • Mairi bheag gold member
    October 31
    Edit | Reply
    Oh!

1 - 12 of 12