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Thud, Thud, Thud

my seventh grade music teacher
had large breasts
my educated guess: a nice set of 36dd's
and my stares of admiration
were by no means subtle--
she knew

and tried to use them
as a method for teaching.

she told me, "matt...women are impressed
by men who play instruments"


I took this to heart
& learned to play myself like mozart

all while dreaming of those 36dd's.

Author notes

confession: I used to jerk off in class.

In a list

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 30 of 30

  • Mango Memories gold member
    November 17
    Edit | Reply
    hahahhaha!


  • PorcelainHope
    November 14
    ?
    Edit | Reply
    With inspirations like 36dd's, anyone can learn and play like Mozart, haha.

  • lmao

    LMAO~!!!! this was brillant awesome job

  • Brook-1 gold member
    November 7

    Edit | Reply
    OMG I laughed at this one. You did a superb job on this poem and had me laughing but was very impressed with the imagery and the metaphors you used to accomplish this. Good luck.
    Brook


  • shell225
    November 3
    Edit | Reply
    Luv the poem, you've taken me back to my highschool crush on my Maths Teacher


  • notorious
    October 31
    Edit | Reply
    Ha!


  • Daizee silver member
    October 31

    Edit | Reply
    Mozart would be impressed


  • Auburn Sunrise gold member
    October 31

    Edit | Reply
    ROTFLMAO!!!

    Ohhh wow! Ahem. Really?

    Okay, I had a major crush on my 7th grade history teacher. I used to sit in class and daydream about being with him. Haha. I also had a crush on my 9th grade economics teacher, 10th grade history teacher, 11th grade history and biology teachers, 12th grade science teacher, so many college professors that I lost track of them, and even a therapist and a psychiatrist. So... yeah... I have a history of having crushes on men in authoritative positions. The more authoritative their position, the bigger the crush. They could have really used that to their advantages. LOL.

    You have to love teachers who use their womanly wiles to get boys into education more. Love the way this was written.

    Superb.

  • LMAO...at the notes. I love you little tidbits poetry. Lovely.

  • fanniesson
    October 31

    Edit | Reply
    Even if that weren’t 36 dd
    you’d use her lets get down to it.
    If your really confessing.
    Enjoyed fun read...


  • Tzipora
    October 31

    Edit | Reply
    thiss was niceee

  • A Prophet of 3 gold member
    October 31

    Edit | Reply
    this reminds me of a chapter in Bukowski's Ham on Rye ... Chapter 26, i believe, but it was an English teacher stressing the value of the American-English form of language ... nice work


    • Matt E. Smith
      October 31
      Edit | Reply
      lol oddly enough...that is what inspired the title...chapter 26 you say? I'll have to read it again...that scene made me laugh...because clearly i could relate.


  • katelynmcdougall
    October 31

    Edit | Reply
    hahaha very clever, as always! I am sure you know this, but you have such a impressive style of writing, so blunt and witty, it never fails to blow me away.


  • Catie Sheeran gold member
    October 31

    Edit | Reply
    duh, if you could have seen my face while reading this...Im so stupid! I was like "aww he learned to play mozart ...well at least something good came out of it"...then I was like "but, I don't get the title..." LMAO my mind usually is always in the gutter...but for some reason I was being so stupid...lol. after I thought about the title a while and read your AN I was like "ohhhh"

    "and learned to play myself like mozart" !!!!....your baaaad..and you really didn't do that in class!



    did you?


    lol please don't answer that!!!




    • Auburn Sunrise gold member
      October 31
      Edit | Reply
      LMAO. I just now got the title after reading your comment - so how stupid does that make me???!!!


  • Not-The-Sun silver member
    October 30
    Edit | Reply

    I took this to heart
    & learned to play myself like mozart



    oh Matt >.<
    in seventh grade? come on


  • stef-witt gold member
    October 30
    Edit | Reply
    No words.


  • Dalaney gold member
    October 30
    Edit | Reply
    thud..............




    L

  • that's fantastic! brilliantly hilarious... nice work matty-cakes xx


  • wwfhrocks14
    October 30

    Edit | Reply
    for real? you used to jerk off in class? that's ridic. and kinda hott lmao. nice poemmaa

  • Rowan gold member
    October 30

    Edit | Reply

    and this stopped when??
    men and 'the girls'. lol


  • Cannonsfire
    October 30

    Edit | Reply
    chuckling...it's a little more exposure about you that I didn't necessarily need to know but it still had me laughing C


  • Allyce May gold member
    October 30

    Edit | Reply
    !! Ahahahahaha, it made me laugh yet againnnn! The Mozart part especially, lol!! So you're an instrument? What sound do you make? Either way I am impressed - what a wise woman


  • still.she.waits
    October 30
    Edit | Reply
    nice

1 - 30 of 30