when death comes a' knocking
it takes everything
the breath from the rooms
the warmth from the couch
the camaraderie in laughter
the truth in laughter
it takes happiness
in exchange for suffocation
hearts go cold and uncaring
weakness is followed by blindness
lives stop half-way through
all because of death.
gone is the little things in life
that used to bring pleasure
sun no longer rises
face no longer greets it's rosy glow
mornings are the same as evenings
days pass, and the dead is forgotten
but only in mind,
which continues to function
as the only organ that lives
the heart, does not forget!
Author notes
i chose the quote for my prompt instead of 'regret'. any questions?
A contest entry
- Illegitimate Contest Child of Random Awesomeness by Note The Sarcasm.
1200 points, ended November 16, 7 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
what do you think?
Comments
-
It's fine that you chose the quote insted of the word prompt, but please show what the quote is. We should be able to see what the actual prompt is.
MfG,
Steph K. -
I really liked this. But please take a second look at your verbs. In a few places I noticed you use "is" when the subject is plural. Just watch your conjugation over all. Your word choice is strong in many places. Great write!
MfG,
Steph K. -
This was just excellent! your words really captured alot of emotion.
I love the way you showed that when someone you love dies it can end your life aswell, at least that is what i got from this poem.
Well done & good luck in the contest!
Alice
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