Breakdown

how did this happen all these broken smiles, i put on a very good show all these sleepless nights lying there wonder will they ever know? why do i keep it up they don't even care i just be whatever they want me to be, something that's not even close to me, every smile i fake every tear i hold back it all becomes to much like a thousand pounds pinning me on my back i try to stand up but my knees buckle and i fall to the ground, i lay there not moving not making a sound oh this is it... this is the breakdown

CHORUS:
i'll get up sooner or later, not because i want to but because i have to i have to go back tomorrow and put on that mask again the one with the fake smile hiding every emotion going through my head they can only see what i choose to show there's so much more behind this smile that they just don't know they can only see the blank mask with the broken smile and then they'll never have to know that last night i layed there on the floor not moving paralyzed, with my depression basically killed in isolation... in depression... oh they'll never have to know that late at night i breakdown

so i wipe away all the tears cover up every scar i made that night in my self mutilation i go back with my mask and try to make it through the day without loosing it i lie to myself again telling myself everything will be okay it takes all my energy to please all these people who don't even care but i cant give them any doubt no nothing for them to think twice about they can never know what i choose not to show

CHORUS:
i'll get up sooner or later, not because i want to but because i have to i have to go back tomorrow and put on that mask again the one with the fake smile hiding every emotion going through my head they can only see what i choose to show there's so much more behind this smile that they just don't know they can only see the blank mask with the broken smile and then they'll never have to know that last night i layed there on the floor not moving paralyzed, with my depression basically killed in isolation... in depression... oh they'll never have to know that late at night i breakdown

i tell myself to smile... just smile about everything nobody has to know about this pain i carry around everyday just smile because its easier then trying to explain why i cry this used to be easy, something i didn't have to work at but i cant remember how to do that i have no recollection of that other life i had when i was hardly ever sad

(REPEAT CHORUS 2X)

just breath everything will be okay just lay here and wait for another day nobody has to know about this show i put on and nobody has to know about all the tears and every scar and every i lay there looking up at the stars just waiting for it all to go away... just waiting for something better... always waiting... every attempted suicide every time i lied and said i was fine when really i was screaming on the inside and nobody has to know that when I'm alone in my room i breakdown oh they will never have to know that i breakdown