Incomprehension Fading.

A scene in charcoal grey-

At first I don't know why
I wish to be your friend,
Though you've only hurt me
More than anyone else I've ever let in.
It's like I push you out and somehow
You try so hard to get back in,
To become something important to me
When all I see, when all I hear
From you is anguish.

They say you are better off
Where you are now,
But I don't care to know,
I don't care for you to try
And tell me the stories.

I don't care to sit here
And let you torment me with your voice,
Or the stories of your pain.
You're only trying to tear me down
With your bothersome problems-
Only trying to make me feel guilt
For what I did to you- blinded, not able to see
What you were doing to me,
The pain was unbearable.

A scene in amber, flawed-

And have you ever had to live
Through the pain of the ones you loved
Neglecting you? Have you ever had to
Move on, only for the one that hurt you
To come back, begging for redemption?
You scream out to a world, spiraling on tendrils
Of confusion and doubt- although you know that
Nothing was your fault, and you should not care-
Keep moving on, keep living blissfully.
But how can you live on with the thought
Of what you did to me, or what you are doing now?

Some say the heart is made of stone,
Or is cold as ice- but the cliche is over-said,
Overrated, and what happens when the stone crumbles
Or the ice inevitably melts?
Life seems so short when we try to live joyfully-
I try, I fail, I fall, just like anyone you know;
I break, I bleed, I rust, just like anyone you know...

A scene in blinding white-

And when the window is finally clean
And I can see clearly, I realize that all of
The misery I have been through is not worth
Dwelling upon- and I leave this ghastly past behind
For good, to move on to a better life, a better time-
I will not waste my energy on this anymore.

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Written on October 30th, 2009.
-Sadien-