The version of reality that has driven me to drink
has a ticking fascination toward a devastating brink.
Compulsion to take flight where railings guard the pass-
yet I see it in the nighttime as I float to greener grass.
A tortoise shell becomes me as I labor on the path-
power chords unsung in me are strung with silent wrath.
The valuable intangibles all are aces in the deck-
still I can’t assort with mirrors that reflect this little speck.
Resigning to live black and white as future becomes past
was never the intention in this vehicle so fast.
Sun glows on the winding road past flowers and cement-
scattered with the darkest shade, while clutching through lament.
My hand appears a simple tool, my skull has all it’s parts-
wasted time, the use of both, to pierce myself with darts.
The insurance for my sanity as the leaves regain their hue
is to trust the wind that lifts me up in everything I do.
The floating in the nighttime never saw the light of day
and the power chords were silent in the moments that I pray.
Imputation of the mirror never echoed in my stare
on the mornings I stood up to it and whispered hard, “I care.”
A contest entry
- Because, we have wasted so much time by Randomly Beautiful.
400 points, ended November 17, 6 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Thanks for the entry.
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Beyond one hand clapping
Reading this poem was like being on a rowing team. The rhythm was so smooth, it was like stroking through calm water. I couldn't get over how easily the words fit into a set tempo. I'm a terrible writer when it comes to writing meter, but when I feel the meter in a piece like this, I can easily tell what I've been missing. It is the message that drives this piece, but it is the meter that pulls it all together. It makes me want to clap my hands through every line.
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Awesome!
You are a really good writer..
I really like this poem..
it is really good..
and i really liked it..
you are an awesome writer..
please keep writing..
because you can inspire a lot of people..
and that is awesome..
when you think of it!!
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the rhythm here is excellent....you do rhyme with enviable skill.....this is a really strong piece...and yet it echoes vulnerability
The last two lines are excellent
Nice write my friend in words
T
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Rhythmic reverberation
Rhythm overtakes me and floats me through this piece, with a flow that reverberates and seems to cross the mirror's boundary. The first view of the other side of the mirror seems to appear here, "still I can’t assort with mirrors that reflect this little speck", for a whole huge world is introduced. My own lack of literary comparison limits the hope in this piece to a comparison to "Through The Looking Glass", which was intensified for me by "sun glows on the winding road past flowers and cement". Certainly there is a world beyond winter here, with a rhythmic dance through the season with "I care".
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ohh... an excellent rhyme scheme here!
Bravo.
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This is the kind of piece I like to read over and over again slowly, really experiencing the flow and trying to grasp the meaning just as I feel you intended it to be seen. Hope and courage blanketed the final line and was magnified by two simple words "I care". Brilliant piece, Steve. I wish you the best of luck in the contest.
Ann
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Oh my dear friend you always outdo yourself, this is beyond words. Excellent. Blessings.
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