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October 30, 2009 - Stately Limbs

Missing image

Stately Limbs

--

We were the wands

that exhale life’s breath

we shake and wave

our banners in wind streams

We nourished our greenery

whether broad, veined drapery

delicate variegated feathers

or long thin fingers that perfume the breeze

Now as our house sleeps

through the long winter’s rest

we take the time to reach higher

in the warmth of a clear winter day

-Winter is our time to whistle

to gather snow flakes on still wet days

to creak while cardinals chirp

to smile at the moon when owls hoot

Now our sticks reach bare

as we salute with uplifted pride

that we are the forest’s sentinels

vigilant, proud strong arms

-Soon our sap will run again

our roots will grow and feed

new shoots will unfurl

our blossoms in a canopy of cheer

 

Author notes

photo by David Jenne of West Rutland, Vt. courtesy of Burlington Free Press
PROMPT: Stick Season

A contest entry

Can you see a hill crested with tall tree limbs on a winter's day without taking a deep breath?

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 22 of 22

  • AngelBellerose gold member
    November 1

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    I feel the passage of season written in time.. as winters eyes sleeps upon the souls branch in life.. twigs upon no foliage left in mind.. sleep until the spring gives birth to new life ..sighh what a beauty you have penned deep in mind thank you hun for sharing your stunning words Hugs always Angel♥♥

    • Bjarne gold member
      November 2
      Edit | Reply

      Thanks

      I appreciate your very kind comments.
      Cheers!
      bjarne


  • ea silver member
    November 1

    Edit | Reply
    I think I would start this with "We are" since the rest of the poem stays in the present tense and gives a lively, now feeling to it all. I like the thought of the trees taking a break, "Winter is our time to whistle" and then how you go on to describe how the sap will run again. Thank you for this lively salute to Vermont's Stick Season.

    • Bjarne gold member
      November 1
      Edit | Reply

      Thanks

      Best wishes as you judge your contest. Thank you for your very generous comments.

      bjarne

  • Coldwater
    November 1

    Edit | Reply
    Exquisite, from the title to the last word, congratulations on your insight, you seem see more than most. Very well written.
    Regards.

    • Bjarne gold member
      November 1
      Edit | Reply

      Thanks

      I appreciate your visit and kind comments.

      bjarne


  • Starswhispers silver member
    October 31

    Edit | Reply
    A very nice poem with detailed and wonderful imagery I love the fact that you have taken the trees point of view so nicely written.

    • Bjarne gold member
      November 1
      Edit | Reply

      Thank You

      Thanks for stopping by and for offering your most kind remarks.

      bjarne

  • hmatisse3
    October 31

    Edit | Reply

    Good work!

    As others have said the language and imagery is so exceptional I cannot find a superlative adequate to compliment. I especially liked the title and the first two lines. Those seemed to stick in my mind. Sometimes poems are notable for message, sometimes for their music, sometimes for a bounty of beautiful images. I found this poem had all of those. It is genuinely a very exceptional poem.

    matisse

    • Bjarne gold member
      November 1
      Edit | Reply

      Thanks

      I appreciate your generosity! Best wishes and thanks for stopping by.

      bjarne


  • ivoire gold member
    October 31

    Edit | Reply

    beautiful

    The imagery is so very beautiful. You paint the mental picture in such a lovely way.

    • Bjarne gold member
      October 31
      Edit | Reply

      Thanks

      I appreciate your kind remarks.
      bjarne

  • cerulean5
    October 30

    Edit | Reply

    sensual delight

    Outstanding write that describes so eloquently the life of those trees during the cold of winter. You have stirred many senses and in doing that made the setting you describe so vivid - a mental snapshot. Your art soars in this one. Excellent poem.

    cerulean

    • Bjarne gold member
      October 31
      Edit | Reply

      Thanks

      I appreciate your comments and thank you for stopping by for a visit!

      bjarne


  • solitaire
    October 30

    Edit | Reply

    stunningly beautiful

    You have done such justice to the photograph and more importantly the time of the year when trees are without their plummage. I like the way you tempt our various senses as you create a really lovely scene. Great diction, imagery and melody. Well crafted poem.

    solitaire

    • Bjarne gold member
      October 31
      Edit | Reply

      Thanks

      I thank you for your continued loyalty and your most generous comments.
      bjarne

  • stratford471
    October 30

    Edit | Reply

    extraordinary imagery

    You have captured every vision and sensation from those noble trees, naked in winter's breezes. I have not seen finer imagery in quite some time. The flow, cadence and language all contribute to a simply outstanding poem. I appreciate the varied topics you choose for your writing. Always interesting, never repetitive.

    stratford

    • Bjarne gold member
      October 31
      Edit | Reply

      Thanks

      I appreciate the visit and as always, your insightful and generous comments.

      bjarne


  • Nicada silver member
    October 30

    Edit | Reply
    This is so beautiful and yes, the poem and the picture you have with it does take my breath away. You have brought the picture to wonderful life. Stunning poem! Blessings, Patty

    • Bjarne gold member
      October 31
      Edit | Reply

      I thank you

      Thanks for the generous comments. I am pleased you liked the poem.
      bjarne

  • louvre4
    October 30

    Edit | Reply

    imagery par excellent

    Fantastic response to the picture prompt. Your language weaves a beautiful vision and brings us closely in touch with a particular time of year when trees are bare. You have found the real beauty in the scene. Very well done..like it

    louvre

    • Bjarne gold member
      October 30
      Edit | Reply

      Thank you Louvre

      I appreciate your kind comments and thanks for checking in!

      bj

1 - 22 of 22