A silver sky, golden horizon
and a cold, windy embrace,
always longing to wrap securely,
but never quite there,
only teasingly brushing bare skin.
A leaf floats down gently,
and then by a gust of wind
is blown, first up, then down,
loosing altitude and hope.
I wonder if the leaf knew
that it's flight like that would die,
or if it, like newly consummated lovers,
never thought the high would end.
But how can one stay impoverished
in this land scattered with gold?
No cold heart can stay frozen and solid
in this sacred, stolen land.
The heart's warmed by the rich, lush colors,
and by passions found anew,
and like the leaf is falling
so we'll fall if that's to be,
but that shouldn't stop us, lover,
from loving what we have today.
Author notes
I thought of the poem while walking home, but like all good poems I forgot it. 
So this is a replica, I might change it if I remember the original words.
A contest entry
- BWOW~~Make-up~~#23~~with aboomer, Starz of Heaven and islekine by islekine.
700 points, ended November 6, 18 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
-
I really like the imagery and depth in this. Very lovely.
Constructive critique:
I would have only minor edits to this - in the 2nd verse, 2nd line I would lose the 'and' - in my opinion it detracts from the flow.
I would also lose the 'and' in the last verse.....maybe:
"the heart's warmed by rich, lush colors
by passions found anew,
like the falling leaf
so we'll fall, if that's to be......
Just my thoughts on it. Seems like it would have more impact and better flow without those filler words in those places....
Most enjoyable. Nicely done.
thank you for your entry
best wishes in the contest
-
Wonderful Metaphor!
I enjoyed the wording, flow and message. Thanks so much for sharing your talent. Best wishes in the contest and always!
Write on and on...
and
Adding your comment:
