(In memory of Beth)
I watch the door close.
When you came home
crackling with energy,
laughing, full of news,
dragging in bags,
I knew why I was alive.
Doctors, reports, diagnosis
-- doors without latches --
it’s faster that way.
Deliveries, exits
hospitals, repair shops
-- portals to another life --
Disease follows its own course.
We may deny its passage,
tell it, you’re not welcome in our home;
treat it like a brother-in-law
over staying his welcome, drinking my beer.
When it's time for it to leave,
things are supposed to be
the way they were.
They never are.
Life is simple,
a stage
a phase
we go through,
like everything else.
I close the door you use to leave open.
I make dinner without candles.
I watch myself,
still,
waiting for you to come home
for the door to burst open.
I look forward to it.
9:48 AM
Oct. 30, 2009
Dulles International Airport
Author notes
My wife's childhood best friend died of cancer on Oct. 25th. I had to meet her and have her seal of approval before we could be married. Beth was one of those special people who could never stop hugging life, the world and all the people in it. I wrote it from the perspective of a husband, because of things I overheard at the service.
Please tell me what you think, what it makes you feel, how you are moved.
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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I am sorry for your familys loss of such a vibriant cherished person.
I had a hard time reading this because tears flowed, for my own personal reasons.
I am so glad that as you said in your comment:
She had a best friend when she was young. She had a friend who never left or let her down when adulthood came along. The gain far outweighed the loss.
A loving tribute
Love,
~Lisa~
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Sue was ready, had visited several times as the cancer was winning the war. Everyone knew when she came home from the hospital it was a matter of days. This sort of wrote itself.
Love,
Tom B.
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I'm sorry for your loss. I know from losing my father and a friend in the past year it's hard at first. I kept thinking of things I wanted to tell them. We have memories to keep them with us and I know that is cliche but it helps. Working on a med\surgical unit has helped me a lot with acceptance. Beautiful write and a lovely tribute.
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I had the image of doors during the memorial service and one of the family talked about how they couldn't take the house cause it was full of her. The hospital is my input about being another door. Anyway it all mixes together and comes out as a poem. The title is one of the last things I heard as I left the funeral home. Glad you could appreciate it.
Love,
Tom B.
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Such a beautiful write. I'm so sorry for your wife's loss. I lost a friend to a car accident a couple years ago and not a day goes by that I wonder what might have been for her had she lived, Thanks for sharing. Good luck in the contest.
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She had a best friend when she was young. She had a friend who never left or let her down when adulthood came along. The gain far outweighed the loss. Thanks for your care and blessings.
Peace,
Tom B.
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My condolences to you and to Beth's family. I don't want to think too hard on losing a spouse. Don't know what I would do after 36 years of familiar. The sad reality is, life is just and extension of death.
Your poem is heartfelt and written from a place I know you dread contemplating as well. Yes! An angel gone home. Best wishes in the contest.
Always with LOVE ♥
Renee
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a special spirit came into this universe and has now left it. For us, in this reality, a definite birth to death cycle. You know, how it is with kids? It is just a phase they are going through.
Love,
Tom B.
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When it's time for it to leave,
things are supposed to be
the way the were.
the way THEY were?
This is an amazing, heart-wrenching piece. Especially with the author notes to explain. You have done an amazing job, Tom.
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Thanks for catching the typo
Thanks. I really don't want to become an expert at these poems.
Love,
Tom B.
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I like the idea of unlocked portals, Tomis. Disease has a way of making one seek a simpler more profound way to reflect being, without the clutch of talons and limitations of cages where our beating hearts seem to be incarcerated for the duration. The thought that love was never in those things, means that it goes with us, even when the the vista changes and we can no longer put arms around those we adore in this lifetime. This one makes me swallow hard. I love the wings, and the idea of "husband."
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I know hospitals. My son came into this world in one, I seem to wake up in them after some accident and my mother and father left in one. So a lot of the time, they are just the gateway. Love never dies.
Peace & Love,
Tom B.
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I'm truly sorry for the loss of your friend...
I know that I STILL believe I can call my Dad and "report" to him how my life is going and then, again, reality hits (he passed in 1996)
It's hard to let go of the ones we love but we also have to believe that God has a greater purpose for them though we surely do not understand it...
Thank you, sweet soul, for sharing this moving tribute to Beth
God's peace and blessings to you and yours... -
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There are things that are just a natural part of your life and then they aren't. Part of you wants to keep on doing them. I know from friends and loves passing and suddenly the laugh, the thought, the thing I always share is missing its partner.
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