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Life

No control have we
mere specks of flailing dust
unleashed alone to wander blindly
through this savage place

Brushing against others
disrupting where they flow
weakening their existence
infecting with discord

No control have we
mere specks of flailing dust
quickening towards total darkness
from grey to black abyss

Comments welcome, critique is okay if not harsh.

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Comments

1 - 5 of 5
  • June-bug
    November 6

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    Dark indeed from grey to black....leaving us with that feeling of no control...i on the contary my not have control of many things in life....but I do have control of how I let them affect me personally. yes outcomes from others have drug me down but I have learned that it is I who controls where I will be end the end and that is in the light. Thanks for the pleasure of the read as it is thought provoking.


  • kirbysman Moderators member
    October 31

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    Dark dark is right

    This is really pretty dark and pessimistic for sure. But, well controlled and very well described. No doubt about what is being said there. Not for a contest either. Nicely done as always, even though I prefer your brighter and lighter things.

    Hugs
    Dad


  • Poetic-Theorem silver member
    October 31

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    Wowzers
    Incredible..brilliantly dark yet profoundly true..as much as we would like to believe that we have control; in reality we do not..other forces (governmental, economical, health matters to personal concerns) all of which keeps us barely afloat in the hash tides of life..Bravo..love & light..David


  • Matthew OMeara
    October 30

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    Two thumbs way, way up.

    I'm not used to reading a darker write from Jeannie, but it's my kind of write! I loved the second stanza, reminded me of simple cause & effect, and further philosophical aspects like infinite regression. It also reminded me of a quote from Friedrich Nietzsche: "The certain prospect of death could sweeten every life with a precious and fragrant drop of levity..." I love that. Never fear the unknown moment, it's exciting! If we take a deep breath, and save a certain span of our attention to remain strictly objective, like an audience of ourselves, every moment is just beautiful, raw, captivating. Lovely write, Jeannie!


  • Manda Kathryn Greeters member
    October 30
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    Aye you are right there; we have absolute no control, even if sometimes we think we do ... we don't

1 - 5 of 5