acceptance
is a premature hurt,
like ejaculation: small cells
swim her bay;
pinwheel and die ---
little lights
bled out
where love aborted.
Author notes
In a list
Read between the lines.
Comments
1 - 21 of 21
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this is awesome ... you have an expert hand at the crafting of short and poems which are aloft from beginning to end like water we want to jump into but the day is long and tedious and the night is full of well dressed suitors ... 'pinwheel' ... 'bay' ... very cool indeed
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why do i stumble in your thoughts and feel the aching.
i think, there is pain here. the lighter version.
excellent Allyce
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Miscarry. Where love miscarries . . . (not critiquing; just thinking). Infatuation does open up one to, make one vulnerable to, those hot little pin pricks of regret for love interrupted. Goodly poetry from a thinking minx.
-The Manatee
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You know, I thought miscarry too! Great minds Then I remembered I'd already used "miscarry solitude" in a poem, so opted for "aborted" instead. "Miscarry" makes me think of forces of nature, whereas abort is crueller/colder and, as such, seems more fitting
Thank you so much for your comment! I always enjoy thoughtful feedback
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... comes out of silence and disappears back into silence ...
Something this short usually feels succinct, that the poet has pared something pithy to the bone. This, on the other hand, feels natural, less groomed, the right number of words to tell of love with the life squeezed out of it.
Of course, craftsmanship is required to achieve this and you demonstrate plenty of that. And then there's the perfect metaphor.
Fine work, this, AM.
Tom
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Remember the lines from that old Meatloaf song... "you took the words right out of my mouth..." ?
This is gorgeous poetry, Allyce. I just loved the "little lights bled out". You do the death of love so well...sadly beautiful, lovely gogo.
~ Nicolette
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your poems are sometimes to hard to put into words back to you because i 'feel' them more than anything, you cut to the heart of hurt in this one - of that moment when love leaves us and we have to accept it and even recognize it... i love the little lights bleeding out - going out, where we could see something happening is now dark, so many ways to go with that line. it's always a pleasure to stop by your page Allyce.
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The miniscule font in white on black works strangely well with this piece's contents, as if these sorrowful words of wisdom have left the lips and fallen into the endlessness of space, where words may echo, leaving behind their orator who's helpless for the knowledge of whether or not they will reach anyone ... ever be heard.
Ahem!
Not sure where that came from but heyho, lol!!!
To accept something, indeed, garners such finality, especially as it seems acceptance is not the accomplishment of one's utmost desire or the winning of a victory over a circumstance, but a compromise or perhaps defeat to make the difference to the outcome, as a heart might wish.
You, Allyce, are an artisan of laconic literature ... your few words always strive and succeed to say so much.
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Awesome.
Vivid, to the point of being almost visceral. This kind of minimalist poetry is what I live for.
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Dayum girl...you is on a roll, this is extra special and so vivid for its brevity, you take my breath away psst can i have it back I am turning blue
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sadly beautifull , it really says heaps in few words and brings home a sad truth secret to me bles you Allyce May have a love full day/ night glenn x
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!!
So pretty - where did you get that?
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Yippeeeee! Thank you
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ouch
you hurt us so good...
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A great title -- I should have you provide titles for my work. The words that follow the title work exceptionally well. Reminded me of high school biology, though we never had wording like this. That last line makes everything work.
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you are such a bubbly ray of sunshine. no sarcasm.
SO WHY ARE YOUR POEMS SO BLEAK???
I dig it.
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It's how I make room for rainbows and bunnies
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have a beer
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That's an even better idea
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