Catherine of Aragorn was Henry’s first a beauty from Spain
Travelled from the sunny med to London’s wind and rain
She was only a child but she answered the call
And married dear Henry in London’s St Pauls
She lasted a while but soon he tired of her , of course
And decided to get shot he called for divorce
A divorce was fine thought Catherine at least she’d survive
And so ended the first of Henry’s wives
Henry V111 changed history to marry Anne Boleyn
But she would not do either she just didn’t fit in
So off with she went to the chopping block
Off with her head as crowds watched in shock
But you see Henry was a horny old toad
And he needed a new filly to have and to hold
Step up Jane Seymour soon fallen with child
Just what Henry needed to tame him, less wild
She bore Henry a son and they named him Edward
But the kiss of death had her name and soon Jane was dead
She grew weary quicky and ill so weak
And poor old Jane was dead within two weeks
So next on his list was poor Anne of Cleeves
Quite an ugly bug if history is to be believed
This ‘Flanders Mare’ without her belly full
Never consummated with Henry and the marriage annulled
Katherine Howard comes in at number five
Ended up beheaded like his previous wife
But she was too spirted an adulterous obscene
So she ended up headless too, executed on Tower Green
Katherine Parr was the last one Henry wed
And good on that girl didn't end up dead
She was clever in so many ways
And managed to outlive Henry's last days
Poor old Henry old and fat, ulcerated leg
No more sons or heirs should a king have to beg?
Fair play to this girl though, she outlived the old goat
With his ulcers and gout and gaseous bloat
Author notes
Fascinated by this period in our history - just my flippant take on one of our kings good old Henry V111
What did you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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Yes it does need a little editing Terry but it's a fun piece alright. He had a wonderful life and love him or loathe him he stamped his name in the history books...Good luck in the comp...Dan
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Thanks Dan - Lul has very kindly edited for me and I will upload the newer shiny version - there is no contest though lol
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Oh excellent Terri
he was a nasty old piece! You tell this historical tale wonderfully. Just wondered whether she was Catherine of Aragorn or Aragon. My English history isn't so hot, but I thought it was Aragon
Well he sure lived a colourful life!
Gaylene
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Think it was Aragon - I must have had lord of the rings on my mind when I was writing = new version being added
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Oh yes that's right I knew I had heard Aragorn before
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A very precise tale of the life of Henry VIII. Quite enjoyable to read, as a history buff this is refreshing to see in a poem. Bravo dear friend you did an excellent job on this write. Poor Ole Henry with his ulcers and gout and gaseous bloat. He should have taken better care of himself and not been such a perverted old goat.
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Fab poem..
very informative and quietly amusing (not for the wives) I enjoyed reading it...he really was obnoxious wasn't he.
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Obnoxiously likeable he's my favourite!
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a fun read of Henry's conquests! Well done.
Rory
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Ahhh thank you - feel free of add criticism it really does need some very firm tweaking!
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Ya know....
..... I reckon I envy Henry cause if you don't like the one you are with kill them and try try again.... Suppose I should talk to wife about this?
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Take a word from the wise! DONT especially as you may lose something more precious than your head if you do!!!! lol
I wrote this in a rush and it needs serious editing!
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