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fool them (dirty pretty)

you might be able to fool (them)
but you can't fool your *soul*

d
   r
     i
       p
         p
            i
             n
                g

crimson crystals
-of "e m o t i o n"-
^Onto white carpet^
of lies, ill-content and raw sadness
bleakly peeking through the

all-seeing

=Looking Glass of life=
(hoping for something more

....real..)

Author notes

I tried.
it mightnt be what your looking for.. but I really did try.
You can DQ if it doesnt suit.

A contest entry

like it? dont like it?

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 9 of 9

  • Bean Sidhe silver member
    November 12

    Edit | Reply
    There is a bit too much going on in this piece what with the background, the pic and font changes. I would put this on a simple black or white background & allow the poem to stand on its own merit.

    I would also recommend that you really read as much dirrty pretty as you can to pick up on some of the better tricks in spacing & symbol placement. I have learned an awful lot that way!

    Anyway, thank you for sharing & best wishes.

    - Bean Sidhe


  • poetryality silver member
    November 2

    Edit | Reply

    Thanks for your generous comment on my featured poem!



    I recently learned of this poetic form (last Year) and have tried my hand at it, as lead by some exceptional poets on this site. I like the genuine feel of this poem. I would say that it is indeed abstract in nature. We go through evolutions with poetry forms and here at AP "dirty pretty" is really a phenomenon. I liked it and wish you well in the contest.


    Much Love & Respect ♥

    Renee


  • blueyez
    October 30
    Edit | Reply
    I liked it dani...


  • VoltaicHypnosis gold member
    October 30
    Edit | Reply
    You seem to have a particular fondness for Dirty Pretty... well this contest was designed to promote a group for people with abstract thinking for logical things but above all Dirty Pretty. You seem genuine, so I would like to invite you to take a look - you don't have to stay by all means, but I would really appreciate the glance

    www.allpoetry.com/group/show/Abstract+Insanity


  • VoltaicHypnosis gold member
    October 30

    Edit | Reply

    It's not bad, I'll give you that. As a gold member you could be a lot more creative with your DP though. I would suggest spacing them all out more, and experimenting with both horizontal and vertical spacing, but also font size and different fonts... a gold member with DP should be just a little more spectacular.

    I hope I don't sound mean as it is far from my intention. Thankyou very much for entering - if you would like to play with it a little more, you'll have more of a chance of winning. I'm not going to DQ though it's a great example of Dirryt Pretty -- keep up the good work and remember to be zany and creative... a little more


  • Misskaoz
    October 30

    Edit | Reply
    I am lost on dirt pretty too and I guess since I am not a gold member yet I can't do it anyway. That's why I came to your page you said in a contest you really like dirty pretty so I figured you would have a few poems with it in it. I really do liek this poem .We all are looki9ng for something more real, aren't we.
    Great write.


    • VoltaicHypnosis gold member
      October 30
      Edit | Reply
      That's not true! Dirty pretty is easier for gold members -- but that doesn't mean we can't do it. Playing with spacing, other symbols like dashes and alt codes and italics

      < i > text < / i > (now take out the spaces) text

      So if you get bored give it a go. I know it's not for everyone, but you might be surprised at how fun it is to be creative.


  • Poetic-Theorem silver member
    October 30

    Edit | Reply
    I still have no idea what "dirty pretty" means; however, I think this is really cool.. I think you did a wonderful job dear..wish you the best..Love..David


    • Andi.
      October 30
      Edit | Reply

      i think this is shit compared to other dirty pretty poems out there, but thank you for the sweet comment dear brother

1 - 9 of 9