there was something in the way she looked at me.

dear yaya,


i still remember the moment we met and the smiles we shared and the sly glint flashing in your eyes.

i still remember not being sure if i could tell you some things,
wasn't sure if you'd accept me,
wasn't sure if you'd still love me,
wasn't sure if you'd still be there.


but you led me to the center of the room and we danced for hours. and that's how i know you'll always be around.











i was incapable of mesmerizing crowds with my voice alone. i sat in the audience, just praying i could fall asleep and never wake up.


or, at least when i woke up, everything would be better again.










i haven't got a family anymore. there's no one around with my last name pretending to care or love, to say goodnight and turn out the lights, to show me how to be a real person.


instead, i have friends.
i have friends that point out my flaws and tell me that they make me who i am and poke my side to make me smile in the early hours of the morning when i just feel like breaking down.
and really.
that's enough.











there was one day i just couldn't do it any longer and i dropped into the bottom of the shower and just let the water hit my face while i drowned in my words as i sang his favourite song.


but i remembered your face.


so i stood up and grasped my hair and said 'this is dedicated to ivy.'


and i sang the most beautiful song there is.











i'll always love you.



love,
kelsi