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Never "Gave You Up"

From a birth mother to her son:

 

Dear Garred,

 

We have met, though you don't remember it now.

 

I can still remember every single spare moment of our time together, although it was not very long. From your first strong kick to my belly, until the time I saw you announce your arrival with a scream and a kick to the doctor. You wanted to be here, son. I knew you to be a strong and healthy boy, and I was proud. I knew then that you did not wish for our separation, yet I was compelled by my own instincts as a mother to protect you from harm. Our situation was uncertain. I relinquished my maternal rights to you, to the one you know as your mom. I love her, as much in my own way, as I love you in my own way.

 

I will never forget those first few days of your existence. You couldn't wait to get here into the world, as fast as you could. I could not sleep, nor did I want to. You did not like the way the nurses wrapped up your long, strong legs to your chest, and were visibly relieved that I did the job much better, allowing your legs to move as you wanted. I knew also all you needed was a bit of patience during meal times. You wanted to absorb and grasp all that life and noise around you, and it nourished your inner self, even while the bottle held your nutrition... I know you to be strong-willed and sharp of mind, keen and perceptive of spirit. I can only hope that every day, you have found new things, wonderful things to discover during our long separation, a separation I have also cried many, many long nights over. How I longed to hold and comfort you. How I longed to hear your first words uttered, to watch as you walked, pointed and marveled at all life offered you.

 

I wanted to give you...more.

 

The answers, will come in time, as I welcome and will answer honestly, all your questions. I welcome you in to my life, my heart and home, always and without question. Bring your fiancee too, I would love to meet her.

 

Love Always,

~Denise~

If you wish it, you are more than welcome to call me "Mom."

 

 

Author notes

There was no other way I could have written this. It is personal for me.
If I can get an address, I would print this and send it to him. Although, he's not old enough to be getting married just yet. I would only take that part out.
He's still my son and I love him beyond measure.

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Comments


  • katie marie silver member
    November 20
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    The sacrificial love and courage it takes to release a child to adoption is so huge. You have showed it here in your letter. May you be blessed with a happy reunion when the time is right.


  • Jeremy0826 silver member
    November 19
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    This is so beautiful and heartfelt! I am sorry that you are really going through this in your life and I do hope that in time you and your son are reunited. It takes a lot out of someone to give up their child to someone else. The sacrifice is always heart breaking and to know that you'll probably never see him or her again can be very devastating. It's something that no parent should ever have to consider but, everyone has their reasons for their decisions.

    Thanks so much for taking the time to write for this contest! I really enjoyed reading it and I wish you all the best in life. Take care and thanks again!




    Jeremy0826


  • Swangrnv gold member
    October 30

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    this is so beautiful

    so clearly full of love..it brought a huge lump to my throat..and i think it got 'something' in my eye..anyways..very very touching my friend...


  • CitrineSunrise silver member
    October 30

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    You are such a strong woman to realize that your dear son would have a more stable life with adoptive parents. This must have been the most wrenching decision of your life. Of course you could never forget your pregnancy or his birth, and this is such a beautiful way to let him know that you never stopped caring for even an instant. I hope you do get the chance to meet again. Our lives are only enriched by the people who love us and whom we love. When he is an adult I hope he will realize that a future with you in no way diminishes the love he feels for his adoptive parents. I wish you the very best. Peace and hugs, Liz