Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

Listening to T&S. Not very good. -Shrugs.-

i lick my lips, the taste of rain on them-
your lips shiver from the taste of pain on them
i lick my lips, remember the taste of your
lust.

i lick and quiver,
from the taste of your trust.

baby, shiver shake it with me,
baby, come and make it with me,
go steady, walk slow,
so sure,
don't know.

your lungs tend to implode
your legs tend to tremble
my lungs tend to breathe slow
my legs tend to dance to the treble
















Are there any grammatical corrections to be made?

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments


  • petalblue2
    October 30

    Edit | Reply
    I love this piece it speaks to my soul, I know this feeling, I can feel it down into my bones, shoving into my pores and invading me completely.
    kelly