Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

A Kiss To Your Heart

I hold you in my arms,
and watch you sleep.
I stare while you breath deeply in and out.
Having a smile on your beautiful and angelic face.
A smile started to form on my face.
I started to wonder when will I get rid of the pain that is in your heart.
People that supposedly "loves" you has stabbed your heart several times,
and now your heart only contains scars.
I wished that somehow I can kiss you heart,
and heal all those scars.
I want to prove that I do truly love you,
and that I won't stab your heart like everyone has done in the past.

Author notes

My boyfriend told me today this "I wish I could kiss your heart Jess". So he inspired me to write this poem. I tried my best to write it in his point of view.
Dedicated: To My Sweetie Michael.

Did I had grammer erros in this? Was it any good? Anything that I should reconsider revising?

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 7 of 7
  • deedee 23
    November 18

    Edit | Reply
    nice title and great though,luved your 1st 5 lines very much n all da poem is amazing good luck !!


    • MJ Forgives
      November 18
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you for the comment. Love and Peace! Glad you thought it was amazing .
      -Jess


  • ParadoxVictory85
    November 1
    Edit | Reply
    I haven't concern with your errors, though all in all it is an expressive piece throughly worked. Good job!


  • ParadoxVictory85
    November 1

    Edit | Reply
    I haven't concern with you errors, though all in all it is an expressive piece throughly worked. Good job!


  • mstklz78
    October 30

    Edit | Reply

    Nice

    I would have loved to see more thought put into it. As you said you tried writing from his point of view but I could definitely tell I was reading something a girl has written. Try to remember how he said it, what he looked like and maybe then you can be inspired to go more indepth more descriptive. It was definitely a great read, very interesting indeed. I would like to see another poem written by you, maybe with intensity and logic emotionless yet full of reason and love. "Like an eagle swift the angel Michael ascended her watching her seeming motionless body. A beauty he had never seen before. He's been watching her for so long now and knows her pains....you know something along those lines would be awesome, utilize everything you can. You are definitely inspriring and again enjoyed reading it

1 - 7 of 7