Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

On the death of the rainbow


all is falling apart now.
god has forgotten his promises and the
rainbow is dead.


hence the silverlight that trickles down the stairs
        (you were the dream and kiss and wish of god)
hence the secret,
        (shhhdontspeakdear quite the opposite)

then 'and switch' will be the order of the day
          (swapping and switch to be free)
and I will become metamorphosis
            (caterpiller crawl down darkened foolsgold)


oh dear mr bountiful sky.  mr thundercloud.
your beauty is gone, she has left you lonesome.

and god is forgetful today.  it is a day for long clouds
and long faces, and long time wasted in the fields



build your ark.  I will not board it

If you want me, i will be in the clearing
in the woods. sitting on the mound where we
once found mushrooms.

I will be thinking of names for the fairies
and they will be thinking sad and sorrowful thoughts
and these thoughts will be worlds all their own,
and they will be worlds with rainbows that still
shimmer and promise gold,
and fleeting.


this too will pass,
and the dreamtime will come to an end.
the fairies will leave.
your ark will rise on the tides of the new moon

and i will be drowned
staring into the prism
and hunting for a new rainbow.


A contest entry

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments


  • karma-n-peace
    November 3

    Edit | Reply
    Love the fantasy theme in this, don't know how it mixes with the religon though... I like the poem, the metaphor behind it is touching... I'll come back and read this again once I am finished reading the other poems in the contest.

    • Lugh
      November 4
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks The religious imagery is just from the old story of God starting the rainbow after the flood. He apparently put it in the sky as a promise that he would not flood the world again...

  • Davep
    November 2

    Edit | Reply
    like this one, you seem to adress and juxtapose fantasy and folklore with religious lore, and i think i can guess at which you find preferable. i like the way you vary the structure throughout the poem, repeating motifs as you go. overall i feel it could be tighter however.