What twisted tales these humans lead.
They think themselves moral.
Threading their threads and catching their flies.
When really, only bright silver rain
Studs their tapestries,
A drop,
a pest.
All simply stud the web.
A contest entry
- One Word Prompt #16 by Diminished Capacity.
1200 points, ended November 14, 18 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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This is awesome, you did well with the prompt. Thank you so much for entering.
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I feel like there is a bit of a disconnect between the first and second half, while the image comes in strongly for me the deeper message is much harder to grasp, I get an image of a morality that looks better than it is but is mainly holes. I'd have played more with the holes aspect myself.
So that was the critism part, but for the positive I love the image, the 'threading their threads' line, its brevity is fabulous, gives it a beautiful elusive quality. I also like you number your poems, not sure I've said that before, it really makes the words/body of the poem speak for itself.
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Sweet. Srsly.
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