Over the course of one week.

I.

It's something I had never noticed,
not until that moment when my arms were around him.
He was larger than his spirit
or his emotional state depicted him.

And or some reason,
it felt good to know he wasn't wasting away
underneath his green jacket.

II.

I wake up at 9:04 on days I don't have school.
Those are the days that I open my eyes just
before my dream is finished.

It's like the sweetness you can taste on your lips
that only grows more desirable when you realize
you can't have another bite.

III.

In the middle of the movie we were watching
I noticed the temperature of his fingertips change,
because for once his hands were colder than mine
until the heat radiated like alcohol in the bloodstream.

We were on fire.

IV.

My drawing two teacher is twenty-six years old
with kids and a husband.

She's so thin and her eyes are tired
like she's gotten three hours of sleep since
she got married.

But she lights like a match when I mention
visiting far away places.

"I drew that cafe in Italy, I remember it like yesterday!"

She smiles like a child.

V.

I've been spending my late nights
trying to think of what he's thinking
at the same exact moment I'm thinking of him-

I've spent enough time being with him,
talking to him,
holding his hand,
kissing him,
loving him-

I don't know if it's about a walking bass line
or if it's thoughts of me.

I've spent years of my life around him
and I still don't know what the hell he's thinking.

VI.

I feel like I'm growing apart
from someone I've never met.

It's kind of like getting over the
senior you had a crush on for three weeks,
the one you never talked to,
but just stared at in silence.

The difference was I love her,
because her words were beautiful
like butterfly wings and starry nights.

She is beautiful like a whole heart,
even if hers was broken.

VII.

I realized that he can't help it.
I can't help it either.

Screaming "You're not worth it!" at each other
isn't going to make us stop.

I just get so mad and no one can do
a damn thing.