kiss me before you miss,
marks upon a spoken wish,
not beauty that can eclipse,
of night, of stars to exist.
Shine bright into her eyes,
so she'll lay in the sky,
next to Arion's dolphin,
in heaven for all of time.
a thousand stars cannot begin,
to see what cryptic message lie,
what already is in the sky,
a picture of her at night.
- Rhyme and Meter Workshop group list • next in list
A contest entry
- Prompt inside.................. by spiritraven.
1050 points, ended November 15, 23 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Unusual
I enjoyed this. It is definitely unique, and I hesitate to leave any criticism because I clicked on this before I've read what is required of you in the contest. I think you could clean up the rhyme a bit, but again, like I said, not really sure what is required of you. I think the first two lines were my favourite, good luck! -
This reads well, unusual spin of words. Almost reminds me of wishing 'pon a falling star. Rather lovely, actually
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Very well done
Thank you for entering my contest
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Hey I loved it I think you did a fantastic job on this, great job!! the prompt is amazing and so is this, so lol yea idk i'm hyper so i'm just going on and on for no real reason but hey great job and keep it up
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interesting take on the prompt.
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