someone/help me grow/try know see

I've got it all written out, planned out, on a piece of paper in a notebook right by my bed. My life. It seems the only way I could be happy is someday.
And sometimes I wonder if that's the way it's supposed to be.

I feel all the numbers, I know all the possibility and impossibility.
I know what will happen on this path.

And so kind. She would hold up a mirror. And I would scream scream bloody murder.
I can see it all wasting away before me and I can't get out of bed.
What
am I
doing.
And why do I keep going down this path.

But, feed me to the dogs.
We're not all poets.
But more important is life than verse

And I could try and try and try and
still
not find a way through it.

And I could know and know and know
and still
find it unchanged.

And I could see and see and see
but the feeling remains the same


And all the joy you should know
trapped inside  paintings
on your walls you can't appreciate
or imitate.

why am i this way why
why why why
someone sleep with me
charm me
let me escape
amaze me, as it's been so long since anyone has.

someone love me.
someone respect me.

someone plant me.
Set me in the sun and
water me...
help me grow.