Journal entry 30 Oct.2009
Dreaming
When I am asleep, I am not sleeping
I am aware all the time of where I am
And what I am thinking…
I can open my eyes at any given moment
And look around, fully conscious…
Then close them again
And return to where I left off…
There’s no need to recapture the dream
For it is still there…
The same scene; same faces same voices
As though they were waiting for me
To return; and continue dreaming…!
I know not where or how this all began!
It has just accumulated; grown on me…
Like a fungus; a parasitical thing
That feeds on my reality
Perhaps I have been dreaming for too long
And am now lost within the dream
And have forgotten how to turn it off;
While the ethereal camera
Incessantly rolls out
Pictures of everything past and present;
And who knows to what end…?
I don’t know where to find the switch
I am not sure if there ever was one!
But if I am in fact the author of the dream;
And the dream then is my own creation…
Does it not follow?
That by reversing that same flow of energy
I can erase everything I have invented?
Or have I reached the point of no return…?
Is there insufficient fuel to turn around
And make it back…
Whatever the case may be,
The journey must and will continue,
Even if it continues forever;
With or without me; I cannot let go, for life
Has been given much unto me
And I shall try for as long as life there shall be
To give it back in equal measure;
Even if I be only dreaming
Copyright John Scott 2009
Comments
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Dreams can tell us many things. I used to dream a lot when I was younger that I was falling off a cliff and sinking with no end to it and then I would suddenly wake up. I had a fairly happy childhood so never understand the reason. Well written John as always xx
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Thanks Doe for the comment, yes the world of dreams is certainly a strange place isn't it, make you wonder for sure!
John
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hmm... Could we be dreaming right now? Each night we wake to a different realm, where we take a time-out from the world-dream game and analyze our last performance and plan our next performance. Then, in the morning we leave this more-awaken realm, go back to sleep, entranced again in the drama of our earth-physical dream. The dream taking off where the game left before the nightly time-out.
Perhaps this is what you are hinting at in the poem.
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That's an interesting comment the word realm immediately struck me, there's no doubt that dreams are a reflection of the world dreams as you put it, but then if this be so why aren't they a true reflection? methinks you are right, they are in another realm, another place/dimension entirely. A most interesting observation!
All of my dreams are about me and others connected to me and they speak of places that i am or have been, but they are nothing like the places in reality...so where are they? Food for thought for sure!
Something else you mention here is 'time-out'...is this the same as 'out of time' ?
I am intrigued, this is a concept that's always fascinated me. I recently read a book 'Is there life after death' by Anthony Peake you may have heard of it? I was so taken up by this book that i contacted the author; he invited me to join his forum and gave me the website address.
Anyway, i may be getting off the track here, but you have given me something to think about
Thank you, i'll see if i can focus a little more on my future dreams; take them to the next level, they are already aware that i am onto them...lol
John
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I was thinking of earth-life like a sport, when I said ‘time-out’, like in basketball when a team calls for time, the play clock stops and the team huddles and talks. - Bonita
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omg john...your mind just stirs me so.....i wanna soak it all up like a sponge...you help me make sense of my own messed up creatons in a way no one else can
Thankyou
cybers x
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this is a very interesting write John.
I know what I want to say about it but don't find the words to say it. Being chained to a reality that is not even real can be maddening if one has experienced the thrill of being unchained. I am courous, Did you ever have any visitations from the other side?
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I appreciate your comments here Judy, as regards to the question perhaps like yourself, I know what I want to say but am not sure how to say it...?
Methinks I should message you some time we can look a bit deeper into this subject...I am intrigued...!
John
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Inter-resting!
in all senses of the hyphenated word ... and believe me when I say that I know what you speak of. The longing to return to a place where your waking life is able to be settled is sad and I know first-hand how the scent and sense of tropical never leaves once she has captured you, having been taken from here at a critical age so that I had to work hard to return back to her. I wonder why you are not able to leave where you are so that you can go to where you want to be and resume your dream life in reality, but I am sure that there must be good reason. Tis sad to know that others are chained to a mere existence. j
y
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I guess it's no good crying over spilt milk as they say...my problem is I came 'back' too late, they say you can't teach an old dog new tricks...well you can, it just takes longer to learn them, after 3 years they've still got me jumping through hoops...
I wrote a song for my dad once called 'Green Hills of England', I should have left it as a song lol, after the war he took us all to a land of milk and honey, bless him...I came back, God knows why, I'm still trying to work it out
I don't like to think in terms of mistakes, I think everything happens for a reason, next year my two sons are coming over here, that will give me some purpose.
Thanks Joy for the comment, 'inter-resting' indeed!
J
hn
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I often wonder about dreams
if maybe something we are unable to face or are thinking about during the day flows into our dreams,
I have noticed a connection between dreams and what had been on my mind during the day.
my dreams never seem to be anything alike.
if I don't think about them as soon as I wake I forget them
I have always been curious
very fascinating write
I enjoyed this very much
God bless you John...
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You are right I know it has to do with things that we not only can't face, but things we can't resolve, I dream about S Africa all the time, for the last almost three years since I arrived here, I thought this was going to be a dream come true but it has turned into a living nightmare.
This isn't a very positive write Kathy, it describes my current state of mind and the various levels of stress I'm going through
Never mind, things will work out one way or another, they usually do...
Thanks for the comment!
John
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to the dreams of no return lift the face seen in sleep to capture the essence ruptured on sleep ... yet never to sleep. but for some reason the thoughts always linger nigh.. for the images in life conjure up something the mind maybe hates to hide.. counting sheep on a wall only makes the mind to busy for the legs of fluff paint and image of no relief at all...for this path we walk must continue until we drift off .and the mind finally sleeps within its thoughts.... hugs always my dear one for the food in my mind painted from the words you have penned give me so much to dream upon.. always dear soul Angel
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Thank you Angel, I'm a bit mixed up at the moment, it's probably got a lot to do with coming back to England after all these years, it's been a big disappointment if I'm stuck anywhere I'm stuck in this place...I'm a stranger in my own home town if that makes any sense!
Long story...
John
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