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sun-blossoms refract in autumn

as sun-blossoms refract

through a seasonal rain,
a revolutionary spell

booms words of release.

gripping winters frost,

 we shed like leaves

the silent ache.

 and watch autumns teeth 

raze the cherry flicker

in each crease .

the pulse, the delay,

then the bullets go free,
as a new being roars

from within 

 astral sea.

 

 she calls a pheonix

born in lungs

breathing sleet.

 

she awakens

the pheonix

in me.

A contest entry

Are there any grammatical corrections to be made?

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Comments


  • silverscent gold member
    November 15
    ?
    Edit | Reply
    I loved your use of imagery in this piece.
    I enjoy a strong image based piece, like this one.
    Thanks for entering.


  • meic
    October 30
    Edit | Reply
    Some lovely passages here embedded within highly appropriate imagery ... the structure [imo] well supports your theme.

    Mike