it's your eyes:
two heaving seas that
topaz toward the coast,
dew diamond
across its face;
wash a man away.
Author notes
This was supposed to be a cinquain to kill my suspected writer's block, but I could not make it work. Argh 
I have not decided if I hate this yet so it might go bye-bye.
In a list
Read between the lines.
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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Oh, well, at least you solved your writer's block...and that IS always a big deal! short but very deftly done poem!!
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Wonderful, very unusual ..."topaz" and "dew" as verbs....great
...I notice in the English language you can nouns use as verbs...this one is a great example of it....I like your choice of topaz...because of its colour...yellowish..I like it 
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simply love the way you've used "topaz" here - wonderful! just love this little poem...just keep it here!
~ Nicolette
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Did you just use topaz as a verb?
Damn, I sure hope so.
If there's anything we need it's more verbs.
slippers off for a coffee refill
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I totally did! I feel quite smug about it actually! lolllll.
Thanks so much, as always, for your wonderful comments!
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i love how you used a color as a verb here.
i love the feeling of 'washing a man away' in this & some people are so beautiful when they cry..
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that was just lovely, wow.
i love the topaz image and the heavy sea, ugh! i wish i had thought of that what a wonderful observation on such a cliche term, i mean i love the sea and there is so many ways to describe it but only so many can do it justice and i feel you've used it immeasurably well <3
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It works just fine to me, personally.
You have a lot to say in so few lines. Love this.
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A most amazing piece Allyce, concise and beautiful.
Well done.
mj.
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i think it worked damn fine tho i thought cinquain was a irish revolution group so shows my knowledge but still i know fine work when i read it and this so is that cheers glenn x
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Ooooh no you don't!!! 'topaz towards the coast' damn that is a pome right in that little stanza...cinquain huh? Well for what it's worth the image in this rocks
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I've been trying to write short poems lately... and man, you're good. mine suck! Haha. This is such a beautiful thought so nicely said.
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Don´t know a cinquain from a sequin, but this is a diamond in the wrack. -The Manatee
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You're much too critical of yourself... this is lovely, now leave it alone!
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please do not hate this! This is absolutely SPLENDID! I wish I could write this to make my writers block go away... ugh! I really hope you can look past the self criticizing because I love this!
First of all, the title is FABULOUS!
The imagery here is so strong! I love the use of the word heaving, it is marvelous!
The ending of the poem is just like *bam* Just a nice tangent thrown in to make it more concrete. I really like it.
So there! haha... I defy you!
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lol! Aww, that is such a great comment and it made me smile Thanks!
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arabella is even more beautiful when she is smiling though.
I love your poetry.
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