Forever and Maybe

I've always wanted to fall into the sky, to fly into the silvery whispers that the stars blinked at me. Gravitational pull has other ideas, and leaves me stranded on the shore, pulled back and forth with the tide as the moon comes and goes.

All I can do is imagine that I'm free. I close my eyes and see myself writing promises on the insides of my eyelids, words telling me I can be beautiful, I can be happy. Bad days are my anchors, and I don't have enough balloons to pull me up.

I guess I can just sit here forever.

Maybe it won't be too bad.

Black and white fade ins intersperse in memories; they're all I have left. Some leave me bleeding, some leave me healing. Not all roses are beautiful. Most of them cut you until you can't take anymore. I tell myself I can't look at your face anymore, but in this darkness you're all I can see.

Maybe it would be better to be blind.

I want to taste the music like I tasted you, use it to slip the boundaries that seem to have established themselves around me. Fall blindly into it, use it as a life-line to pull me out of the water. It hurts to drown.

I remember when you'd dangle the stars in front of my faces, promises trailing across my skin, leaving sticky trails on my face. A liars spiderweb. Once your fingers get caught in it there's only so much you can do to free yourself.

Maybe one day I'll chase a rainbow and find that happy ending. But then again, I was never one for those. I fell for the bad guys.

If I can't fall for the sky, I'll just fall for you, even though it hurts more and leaves me broken on the rocks under the cliff.

Free-falling still gives me that adrenaline rush. I don't need a parachute.

You don't need to save me. It's okay.