He was shrunken,
like his shoulders
had given in to the
enormous weight
he had always carried.
He had always stood
so much taller than me,
--bigger across
the shoulders
huge hands
like
bear claws--
but now I felt like a
giant
next to him;
even his hands
looked like
kittens paws.
I hugged him
and worried that
he would
crumble
under my touch.
His blue eyes
looked so dull
as he smiled up at me.
“I love you, dad.”
“I know.”
he replied
with a whisper
of a voice.
Two days later
he was gone.
Author notes
My father was 6' 2" and 230lbs when I was in high school. When he died about 20 years later, he was probably about 5' 10" and 160lbs. He had worked on diesel locomotives after WW II and smoked about 2 packs of cigarettes a day. He died of complications from Emphysema and other assorted lung ailments. It was a terrible way to see him go. All my life I never thought I would be bigger than him or stronger than him.
A contest entry
- flashback 2 by sideways hourglass.
470 points, ended November 5, 15 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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A very personal poem.
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My mom died of Cancer last year. I feel your pain entirely. It is hard to watch the strongest people in your life.. that you always looked up to, become frail and fading. I'm sure he looked up to you with great admiration and adoration knowing you grew up to be tall and strong like he imagined as a dad. This is beautiful JC.
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poignant, sad and so full of love, a true dedication to your dad. Your AN was very moving.
My dad died about 6 years ago from emphysema too (navy ship engine room Korean War & too many cigarettes) and it is a torturous, wasting death.
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Thanks for your comments. It will be 12 yrs. this December, I always think that if he hadn't smoked and taken better care of himself, he could still be around today. He was 79 when he died, but his mother lived into her 80's and all of his aunts and one uncle lived into their 90's. Sorry for your loss.
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I truly believe he will always be "big" in your eyes no matter how much time passes. I'm so sorry he died, but I also believe that in Heaven he is once again strong. A beautiful poem for your father. Love, L
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This is moving, poignant and very sad indeed. I honestly dread the day when I will have to do the same for my parents. It makes me want to resolve current issues yet reality is that I don't know if I'd ever find it in my heart to forgive? That's my problem though. These emotions aren't related to the poem, but the overall concept here sparked these thoughts. This is beautiful. Thanks for entering this into my contest.
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death i guess
this doesn't really seem like death poem to me, seems more like you were talkin about a cat or bear, anywayz i guess tags can be deceiving, all in all i thought it was good, i guess, later -
Moving stuff here - you tell it like it is and that's what makes it hurt.
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at least you got the chance to tell him you loved him. Very moving write, hon.
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This is so heartbreaking and beautiful.
I lost my grandfather last week, and it was a very similar situation... He'd always been this giant self-sufficient man, and then suddenly he just wasn't. Though I still have my father (and am extremely sorry for your loss), I related to this on a very personal level.
It's delicate and simple, but in that simplicity, it speaks volumes about life and loss.
I love this.
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