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Feathers and Stress

Father - light hearted and cold as a stone.
Your daughter - crooked and twisted like bone.
See the pattern - the scars and the stitch,
the gold, the vein, the needle, the itch.

Please tell me what you think

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Comments

1 - 14 of 14

  • silverscent gold member
    November 12
    ?
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    I enjoyed the parallels you present in this, right down to the bizarre title.
    Had this not been in my contest (so I have to click it) and had I seen it elsewhere, I sure would have clicked just because of the curiosity in the title.
    Anyway, I enjoyed the uniqueness of the piece and the unique voice delivering it.

    Thanks for entering


  • white stone
    November 6

    Edit | Reply
    This poem crawls across the page, sneaky and sinister. Hypnotic rhythm and skillful rhyme. So you're one of those itchy people too, huh? I like this. It's wicked.


  • G-y-p-o
    November 2
    Edit | Reply
    Love this babes.... Short and meaningful.


  • jantastic gold member
    October 30
    Edit | Reply
    So much in so few words.

    Well done.


  • meic
    October 30

    Edit | Reply
    Powerful but pithy ... an irresistible combination which punches well above its weight to to speak. It set my mind a-wandering - no mean feat!


  • marandah gold member
    October 29

    Edit | Reply

    Wow!

    Very powerful. You turned a sad topic into a picture of beauty, with perfect form. What a talented artist you are!


    I love John McQuillan's comment - he has described your poetry perfectly!

  • bitter-sweet

    so short and simple, yet elegant. Each word seems to be carefully chosen, yet casually collaged. Has that prickle and crack to it that keeps it fresh and easy on the ears so it can be read over and over, and never lose its exciting sting. Bravo.

1 - 14 of 14