forever golden

i'm still trying to figure out life and death, god and physics, reasons and answers. i'm trying to figure out why a 2 ton semi can slam into and crush worlds to pieces and i can still sleep right through my alarm clock. and why it took fists beating on my door and "there was an accident" and two dead, one critical to wake me up long enough to slip away again.

two were taken immediatly, leaving two mothers whose arms are now as empty as mine. one who was a mother herself.

one fighting hard for a life too young, too fresh, too fucking precious to be taken away.

five days he survived. for five days they told us he was improving. for five days we held hope.

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i can't ever say what i would have done in their situation. i can't judge them for letting him go.  all i know is that when he left, a part of our smiles went with him.

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here is what i know:

-she was an amazing mother. she gave her baby the best life she could. she gave my best friend hope, love, and strength wrapped up in a tiny pink blanket. she'll live on through her daughter.

-she was an artist, a thinker. she was quiet but not shy. her momma's first born, her pride and joy. she was a writer and her words are now comfort for the family she's left behind.

- and him... he was a living angel. his smile lit rooms. his laugh was infectious. he was too much for this world and you could see it in his eyes. always happy, always getting into some kind of innocent trouble. he would do anything for his friends and family. and he could always get a smile on your face. words cannot express just how deeply i ache to have him back. i love you, matt. so much.

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maybe one day i can understand why this happened. maybe one day the short time we had with them will be enough.


12/28/08 & 01/05/09

you will never be forgotten.