I focus my eyes and make the shutter click
this night walking the avenue, I think of you.
Jupiter and the half moon over my shoulder
east and pacing strides, until I drift
like red faced clouds that hide a ringed wonder*
then billow and curl into a hazy bowl of silver.
A stand of brushy pines near a tall hickory,
evergreen limbs branch and entwine, like
gathered arms there aside a nearly bare one.
A gust makes a yellow flake shower
dropping, lifting old and new fallen gold;
evergreens so full sway as one,
full arms seem to reach to spare shoulders.
I think of you, a feeling of holding,
wrapped arms; I drift again...
Jupiter gleams between reddish bundles
and half moon has climbed yet higher;
the night and streetlights give
everything a softer coat, blued-white hue.
No traffic, quiet rises to fill between thoughts,
I wonder what would be said or seen,
around this corner or of that scene;
tiles on the roofs, smoking chimneys,
smell of oak fire or a rabbit's dart 'neath hedges;
I stride into my shadow and again, I drift...
Author notes
Yes, Jupiter has rings
http://www.gps.caltech.edu/~mbrown/images/keckring.html
Prompt:
Photograph, by Andrea Gibson
"...I wish you were here
autumn is the hardest season
the leaves are all falling
and they're falling like they're falling in love with the ground
and the trees are naked and lonely
I keep trying to tell them
new leaves will come around in the spring
but you can't tell trees those things..."
http://www.andreagibson.org/poems/poems_photograph.html
In a list
A contest entry
- Photograph by Pamela A Lamppa.
2200 points, ended November 20, 22 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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I have a Border Collie named Jupiter. Blue ringed and fast spinning planet.
Creative and beautiful piece of writing. Really like the final stanze, seen scene, and your sometimes rhyme.
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Excellent
"lifting old and new fallen gold;" - there is where the tears began - and they never stopped.
I love where you took this prompt. I loved the soft essence of memory, the turning points of time and the gentle walk of nature that blends life and love and time.
So moving and beautiful. Thank you for such a splendid entry. Best of luck in the judging. ~Pamela
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Pamela-
I think i did this one all wrong, i wrote before i saw the performance by the author, the crusade against wrongs that are woven into her words. So I thank you for your kind remarks, and i think this will inspire some more reading of this woman's work and some more poetry too...thanks...PK
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And it's beautiful how you were inspired by the planet and its rings
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Thank you Mari~
Jupiter has put on quite a show this fall, it is further awy from the moon each night now, soon Venus, Saturn and Mars will be on the winter stage. But on the night i wrote this Jupiter was the brightest light other than the Moon, remarkable...h
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This is, of course, a remarkably astute and artistic reply to the given prompt, Poet Man. Lush with imagery and elegance in language. Good luck in Pamela's contest, Sweetie. 
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Wanda-
Thank you for the notes and links, it really helps to see the performance, the sound alone does not make it as understandable...how the intensity is part of her protest...i learned some things...Thanks...PK
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As did I, when first I experienced her presence onstage. You're most welcome, PK. 
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This is more brilliant than a photograph, it seems to be painted on canvas with breathtaking strokes of brightly colored wonder, and tinted hints of amazement.
I am there, walking with you. Every sense is heightened, and although I know the poem is not written to me or it is me you are thinking on... your words create that illusion for the reader, leaving us with a heartfelt sigh.
This is the type of poetry my literature professor expects of his students. Again, I say...BRILLIANT!
I wish you well in the contest. This poem is worthy of great merit!
Much Love Always ♥
Renee
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Many thanks Renee -
for your most kind words; I think we have a kind of poetry when we speak to the silence around us, focused on the sky or anything that brings a peaceful state, a place where we can truly see and hear. Thanks for all, and good luck with your demanding professor... I think you two would be a match...
...PK
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These incredible images you have used to incite such feeling are just remarkable... the clouds curling into a bowl..the full trees juxtaposed against the bare ones, the old and new snowflakes of gold... such a feeling of want.. presence, and want.....and all in a moment. This idea of striding into the shadow speaks so much, not just for the visual placement of the moonlight and the man, but the placement of his thoughts. This idea of drifiting, like the clouds, like the snow... toward a thought, toward a place, toward a person or a feeling is done so subtly...a bit different than the darting bunny...it is quite and serene, and so delicate.
The idea of moments, like the capturing on film, is also so nicely expressed. "between thoughts" takes on so much more meaning. So often we accentuate the thoughts...but this drifting that goes on between...when the shutter is clicked...might tell us so much more about ourselves and our manner of thinking....where our focus truly is when all the crowding is gone.
The mood you have set here is just right...and I would like to be on such a walk, just to observe this man, but it is a walk of solitude...and yet, you have given us this amazing picture of him. Love it.
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Thank you Ten-
Thank you for taking time with this, it is a poem that pleases me too.
I read the inspiration and found that parts of it were very expressive, image filled so I tried to capture something like that. Unlike the inspiration, and as you point out, this one tries to find something in a quiet moment, when thoughts are free from distraction.
Hope all is well with you and your family... thanks...PK
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