fragile as a whitened dandelion head
she runs through the green meadows
searching for her cherished childhood
but that notion floats away
like the white fluff
carried on the breeze of change
the gangly girl
that peers back at her in the mirror
looks more like her mother
than her
her body is streching and growing
rounding and shaping
like she has never experienced before
she is confused and embarassed
by the new discoveries
that are thrust upon her
in this transformation
her moods are up and down
like a wind tossed kite
as the hormones course new river beds
of uncharted territories
life is getting more complicated
and it scares her
why did it have to change?
she wishes she could just float away
back to the days of dolls
and tea parties
on the fluff of the dandelion
Author notes
Prompt: Option #1 ,The picture provided by the contest host
Picture prompt: Dandelion by ~kokoszkaa from Deviantart.com
In a list
A contest entry
- The Poetic Bandits (Only) Mid October Bash by Manda Kathryn.
700 points, ended November 2, 6 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Can you relate to this?
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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Thank You for Your Entry ~
"but that notion floats a away" --> I don't think you need the extra 'a'
this is without a doubt one of the nicest poems I've read in a long time;
the struggle through puberty is a frustrating, confusing and terrifying time and you've captured that beautifully [even though I know you're a guy]
wonderful.
Stay safe
Manda
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Thanks for pointing out my ooops of an extra a, I completely missed that when I proof read it. Thank you for your kind and generous words and comment, I tried to express what I thought a young lady might be going through at this difficult time in her life. I am pleased that it might be somewhat realistic to a female reader.
I also thank you for the trophy, I am honored and humbled by your kindness.
Brother Dennis
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Yes I can relate to this...changes are not what I like. We all face them, but we all think it'll never happen to me "I'm invincible". Funny how we get through it. Great write.
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SURPRISE AMBUSH!!!
How fitting that the ambusher gets ambushed by the rest. Great poem - liked the direction you took the prompt and ran with it. Very metaphoric. Liked the flow and wonderful images this brings to mind.Hope you have a great day! Enjoy.
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SURPRISE AMBUSH!
Dear friend...What a delightful take on the prompt..Heart and soul were in this write as I read agreeing with the way you took it...Your imagery and imagination made me feel, boy D knows women, after all he has daughters! Beginning to end it became one expression of a little girls dreams as she looks back on her whimsical and cherished life before she moves forward....I wish you the very best in the contest! Sincerely, Rosemary Bookmarking by the way!
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Surprise Ambush!
"her moods are up and down
like a wind tossed kite" I like this and the other metaphors in your poem.
I can imagine the kite struggling, staggering, out of control, like the emotions of a volatile adolescent, girl one day, woman the next. "are up and down" could be replaced by a couple of stronger verbs, perhaps. The showing works much better than the parts that tell. I see this as an excellent first draft, a poem to return to and continue to refine.
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SURPRISE AMBUSH!!
Dear poet --
let me just say, what an *amazing* take on the prompt. You managed to take the prompt picture so far out of the box; and you were inspired to write such a poignant and heartfelt poem about that difficult, difficult time of life.
I am just amazed, dear friend.
So very well done!
Best of luck in the contest.
Zach Estel.
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Surprise Ambush!
I think my daughter would relate to this - she has just turned 14 and has more hormones than I can count! I thought this was a thoughtful poem - I liked the image of the dandelion and the way you used metaphors to add some strength and depth. There is a lot of sensitivity here and I liked the way you empathised with her situation. Best of luck in the contest.
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Hood-Wink Ambush
So beautiful and much like something (the subject matter) that I wrote recently. Something we all go through and it is embarrassing and hard to adjust to. You did a good job capturing the essence of this stage in our life and this piece was very touching to me. Thank you for writing it and letting me share in your writing of it. Have a blessed day and keep on penning for you do a great job and put lots of feelings in your work. You hold the reader from the start to finish which I enjoy alot.
Hugs,
Sam I Am
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Hood-Winked SURPRISE AMBUSH!!!
Oh this is such a wonderful poem of innocence lost and the emotional rollercoaster from awkwardness of change. We're all born bland as cucumbers then puberty hits and we are innundated with the reality of life and become pickles. Then we adjust, and settle into our new skin. Finally in the end, we die and become relish. Heheheh
Have a great day Brother Dennis.
Bill
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SURPRISE AMBUSH ! ! ! !
A very imaginative well written poem covering the ascent from adolescence
into womanhood and the trials and tribulations thereof,flows nicely with some nice imagery and word usage. Well Done.....George.....
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Very pretty poem and full of beauty as the dainty dandelion and young girl. It is a lovely pondering of thoughts from within and without, and a wonderful look at beauty that is only beginning.
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I loved how you ended it. Great job Dennis. You really out-did yourself. It really touched my heart.
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