Sssh. Like blowing sand,
I'm passing through.
Just a scudding cloud,
bidding earth adieu.
A mid-day shadow,
destined to grow
'Til darkness blending
I no longer show.
Youth and time,
hidden well.
Enjoy the ride
on the carousel.
Youth grows short
and journeys quick,
but builds its walls,
brick by brick.
Time steals all
growing rich and fat.
Yet life disappears
despite all that.
Sssh. Like blowing sand
I'm passing through,
leaving only dust
of me and you.
Author notes
Photo #2
A contest entry
- The Shadow Men by rrw.
1500 points, ended November 11, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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I like the take on the Prompt # 2. You do really capture the movement and sound of the piece. And a rather good attitude towards growing old. But it is the sense of movement, of a journey taking place at the very moment of this poems writing that is totally beautiful. It is often very hard to write in an active manner. But you have pulled it off here.
Plus there's just a lot of light phrasing going on here the captures the light feeling of the pick. Using words like adieu, scudding gives it an airiness and delicate charm.
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Thank you for your kind words, Mr. Host. I appreciate it. cq
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Oh, I like this one! You tell a timeless truth here, and the short, rhyming format works very well.
Best of luck,
Bill
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Thank you. I'm glad you liked it. cq
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