~
Was it how I didn't let him do it
after pulling off my pants?
I didn’t understand the significance -
If you loved me, you’d let me
and I told him it meant nothing like that,
but he took it to heart, to veins, to pulse,
to blood
and angrily pushed me off the bed.
~
Author notes
I chose the eye picture for the prompt.
A contest entry
- another quickie. by August Starlight.
750 points, ended October 27, 4 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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the simplicity and simultaneous strength of this is wonderful.
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god a welll earned gold!
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I like, Very unexpected. Good job and congrats.
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There's something to your pacing her, the length of the lines, the shortness of the stanzas and the whole piece itself that really gives this a bit of an edgy feeling. We feel uncomfortable, because, as your character knows, there's more to love than the physical and being pushed off the bed is the WRONG kind of physical! I can see why you won the gold! Great job.
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This is so fantastic. I don't know how you did it, but you managed to make words LOOK confused and angry... not just READ that way.
You're all kinds of talented
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holy shit.
the beginning is.. well , captivating.
... and now I see you used the eye picture for the prompt. that's pretty cool.
thanks for entering and good luck. -
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thanks for the comment & gold.
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