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Candy

Bricks of chalk
drown thought in bursting braincells.
Bitter paste smears lips
and clammy fingers dig in prescription bottles.

Sour high invades reality,
and dry tongues glue to throats
as eternal sleep ensues.

What do you think?

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments


  • xxuglyducklingxx
    October 28

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    Enthralling.

    I loved this piece. The metaphors are empowering. I really liked this piece. You've got a real talent. I love how blunt this is, yet is has so many cold and hidden meaning it's overwhelming. Brava on an excellently penned piece. !


  • sinfull
    October 27

    Edit | Reply
    And those bricks of chalk become stark body-outlines. Your poem is black and white and all the more startling for it. A simply-stated reality that hides many shades of gray. well done.