Girl Side
He was the one who held my heart.
Then he crushed my heart into dust,
and return to me in that conditioin.
He used to say "I love you",
and meant it.
Now I am not really sure if he does love me anymore.
I used to be on his mind all the time,
but now I'm not the only girl in this mind.
Our love used to be so great,
but now it has been broken into million of pieces.
Boy Side
I used to think of her as my angel.
Then slowly I started to think of her as an ordinary person.
I poured romantic words into her delicate ear.
Now i whisper nothing to her.
She used to be on my mind all the time.
Her friend Lizzy is on my mind now.
I used to claim our love was the greatest thing ever.
Now I'm not so sure.
My feelings for her are dead.
Author notes
This poem is to potray a message that people who may think that they are in love may be easily mistake it for infactuation. So don't get so high stronged in a relationship and it has only been a day. Most of us can relate to this I think.
Inspired by looking at my dear best friend's face VeroniKa.
A contest entry
- Welcome to Prewrite Ville (Favorites of Mine or those who have me as a favorite only) by Tqop.
900 points, ended October 30, 25 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Did I had grammer erros in this? Was it any good? Anything that I should reconsider revising?
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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wow,your poem is awesome luved your though n luvd how you expressed it really well done, actually da boy side is so true n good,well write!!
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I know
. One of my guy friends could relate to that saying they are going through that right now!. Thanks for your lovely comments. 
-Jess
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You have talent. Great job on the poem and the points of view. Thanks for your entry.
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Thank you for the comment. Love and Peace!
-Jess
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You spelled "condition" as "conditoin." It's a typo.
"in this mind" should be "in his mind."
It's not your greatest, but it's real, you know? Peopled actually sometimes end up like this.
I like how it ends out flatly as "my feelings for her are dead." It sounds very ironic.
It's wordy. More like prose. Or a really really short story. Or a short monologue.
Not much to it.
Sorry.
-->pia♫♪
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Thank you for your comment and reading it. I appreciate it. Love and Peace!
-Jess
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oh i really love you you wrote this
the two different prospectives
wonderful
again i loveeeeeeee it <3
-rose -
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Thank you I am glad that you loved how I wrote two different perspectives. I am glad that you loved it.
Love from your Auntie Jess
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