I hid a seed inside my heart-
a candied, sharp and willful thing
I fed it well on glitter-pride,
flatter-words, a fearful dream,
things that ache, and things that scream-
The crying breath of seagull sorrow
loss of hope for bright tomorrow,
warlike words, a longing deep,
an angry song that plays, asleep,
Passion’s Lethe, things not gold-
and lies so hot they burned me cold.
I watered it with angry tears
from a well of rancid draughts
Winter rain and lonely nights,
bitten broken troubled thoughts,
shouted words and those unspoken,
traitor friends and love’s vows broken,
tender things that killed at last
and pride that wrapped and held me fast.
At last, the flower rose her head!
I stood by, and a longing gasp
rose from my throat to think that I
would have the thing I loved at last.
But oh, the awful hateful thing
was dry upon her standing stalk
full of only empty words,
thorny, vicious, fearful talk
hate for those who loved me well,
and in my heaven, she found hell.
Author notes
A reminder of what bitterness grows into- which is loss of self and a sadness even in happy times
Inspired by a quote from Lord Byron- I thought the idea should be expanded, and so I've done my best to open it. I'm very open to suggestions on revisions- this is the first draft.
"The thorns which I have reap'd are of the tree
I planted: they have torn me, and I bleed:
I should have known what fruit would spring from such a seed. "
what is your perception of the meaning? how does this relate to you?
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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This is wonderful!
I like it! If you change it, I'm planning to read it again!
I love the way you've expounded on this quote- it is a very vivid metaphor (?) you've painted with your words.
This is the kind of inpsiring writing I need to get back in the groove of things!
Thank you!
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You say Byron, but this poem reminds me overwhelmingly of William Blake. There are some stunning moments: "glitter-pride" is a wonderful way of putting it.
I can't help but regret that you didn't choose a consistent meter for your piece; the few places where you do put together two or three lines of iambic or trochaic tetrameter stand out magnificently. In any case, good work! -
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you're right. Perhaps I'll let it sit a week and then try to whip its meter more into shape.
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Beautifully Byron-like
Wonderful timing and rhyming. A real gem when describing this hidden anger in the heart. This line: "bitten broken troubled thoughts" - I'm trying to imagine bitten, was this suppose to be bitter? Otherwise the last stanza: "At last, the flower rose her head!" made the sun come out for me. This one line and the next to follow is so full of meaning for me personally that I cannot comment on them objectively so I'll just say (through my tears), you did well.
chalice
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thank you
I did mean bitten, though I don't know that it comes across- I'm trying to convey the feeling of a nipped at well chewed cut short thought- something hassled with and harried and angrily played over- any suggestions? I'm stumped.
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A lover of Lord Byron myself and you do rival him here and do his quote justice. You bring about that romanticism feel, bringing me back to the time frame. You also blend the physical with the emotional in this write, attributing those emotions to these physical acts and art you depict. Very well done.
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