She wasn't like the other girls, a shy withdrawing type,
who liked to watch and listen, never speak.
Her friends behaved like loonies always following some hype,
they changed their fashions every other week.
A quiet thoughtful girl, she lost herself in books and walks,
a need to be alone at times she craved.
Her friends would interrupt her with their silly endless talks,
at times she felt she needed to be saved.
Her mother didn't love her, labelled her a big mistake,
concieved one drunken night outside a bar.
Her friends dragged her away to spend an evening by the lake,
but maybe this time they had gone too far.
The pep pills and the booze, loud music echoed through the night,
a needle piercing white unblemished skin.
Her friends became a blur and every star burned far too bright,
warm breath against her neck that smelled of gin.
A swim beneath the moon just skinny dipping like a kid,
the water felt like silk as she slid in.
Her friends were having fun, not caring what they said or did,
beneath the cooling liquid was no din.
She wasn't like the others not someone to socialize,
they found her body washed up by the creak.
Her friends don't talk about her 'Rachel's gone so wipe your eyes'
but deep inside they knew she was a freak.
A contest entry
- her name. by ZachP.
650 points, ended November 9, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please comment honestly-
Comments
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A deep and painful story,
that rests heavy upon my heart.
You've captured this so well,
and you manage to speak to me
so strongly . . .
My breath has been stolen away, dear poet.
Absoposolutely well done.
Thank you for sharing!
Zach Estel. -
Wo! very deep and dark...
& I loved it... it was like a dark banner unfurling... each stanza a link to the sad finale & unfortunately could be the story to anyone these days... Well done & Write On!!! dsp
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A sad depiction of the life and fate of some youngsters. Very often the intorverted ones are overlooked because they don't scream and shout for attention but their lives can be a torment lived in silent shaddows. It's possibly more common place in the hectic bustle of modern society where people are too busy to take note or even care. Very sad!
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Deep, dark and very sad. Why does society always pick on the weakest just because they don't understand or are afraid to ask.
An excellent write with great rhyme and flow and a relevant message for today and all time.
All the best in the contest.
Love
Suz
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