(for freedom, for a fight...)
Make me correct. Make me
pink, red, blue... any colour but white.
I am sick when I miss you -
like forgetting the way back.
I'm finding silver and vodka
but I'm losing my track.
My heart could break a glass -
if my hate had a voice.
I would hurt, like the rain -
if you gave me a choice.
I remember your eyes -
like the colour of Winter.
Not October - but colder;
even more like December.
Splinter - February the 19th:
said through your jaw.
Hot as blood - hot as vein.
Am I your daughter any more?
His hands – now just a memory.
Do you remember me at hospital...
at all?
Was I really beautiful?
Author notes
A contest entry
- Typography Inspired by marandah.
1100 points, ended October 31, 5 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Hmm, no sexual humor I see, so what does skitza find funny?
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Not a lot.
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Wouldnt dare to, only asked to test the limits of your capabilities, as you can see you have me at a disadvantage, having two heads and only one brain.
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But one will always dominate the other, one head, two brains...
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I have a split personality. I am cut in half. I am 50/50. I am 50%. Half cut and half cocaine. I am insane. I am Pisces AND Aquarius and don't you forget it!
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Which are you now, Pisces or Aquarius.
As if a name would tell it all, is that not the first sign of a fall? -
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I am both.
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February 19th, a Pisces, huh, whats that in chinese?
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Pieces or Aquarius. Depends on what day it is...
Chinese? No idea.
Who are you?
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I drank a 5th of Vodka a day, standard, at the least, for a very long time.
"My heart could break a glass"
are you alluding that your heart is emitting a high pitched scream loud enough to break glass? If so, that's a really powerful metaphor.
I wasn't expecting the shift of focus at the end, but it blended in well. Dig it.

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Shift of focus? I can't see that.

Thank you... again.
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This tears at the heart!
Has the feel of emotion
cutting the screen and
reaching out!
M-C

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Thank you.
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image used
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Thanks.
I couldn't upload it but I added the link.
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I like this one.
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Thank you.
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Love the opening lines...
Write like you bite,
(for freedom, for a fight...)
I am guessing that this is the love/hate relationship of a father who wasn't?
Sorry, I'm not very good at interpretation! lol
no matter what the meaning, this is beautiful in that it could be ambiguously interpreted, and being a songwriter myself I would love to be able to pen in this fashion - great flow and rhyme, simple and cutting and yes....ambiguous!
Well done, my new friend!
and thank you for entering my contest!!

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Thank you.
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Nice poem...like always


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Nice?
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very nice
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Your dad would cry at that babes....
I hope he hears you one day soon....
x


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No he wouldn't.
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I know he would.... I bet you would be suprised.
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I bet you would.
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You bet i would what?
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I bet YOU would be surprised.
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That your dad might cry?
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Yes. It would surprise you that he wouldn't.
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