One Year, One Accomplishment, One Failure

One Year.
That’s how long I made it without it.
One Year.
That’s when it last happened.
It was then I felt the need to do it.

But yesterday
you forced my hand.
You forced me to break my one year stand.
You brought me back down,
All the way down, so slow,
So low.

You pushed me to my limits,
again.
Like you haven’t done for a year.
One Year.
I thought you were passed all that,
As usual I was wrong.

So here I am
writing.
Writing about what I did,
What I haven’t done for a year.
Something I was so proud of,
An accomplishment, finally.
But you destroyed that yesterday.

You pushed me over the edge,
You made me forget, made me insane!
You forced me to do what I hadn’t done for a year!
One long hellish year that went on for eternity.
You put me back to where I started!

It was all because of you.
It was your fault that I was sitting in my room.
Your fault that I had the blade.
It was your fault that I cut so deep the blood kept running.
All your fault!

My year-long stand all gone to waste.
I tried to contain my anger and pain I
tried.
I tried to stop I did.
But yesterday...
After a year of suppressed anger it all came out yesterday.
Yesterday when I slit again and again,
Like I hadn’t done for a year.