On afternoons with gleaming skies
Birds chirping in the air,
Her hair would glisten in the sun
So golden and so fair.
Her delicate mouth turned upwards
Her soft blue eyes aglow,
She would emit an angelic sound
That only I would know.
We dashed through grass, long and thick
Whilst laughing with such ease,
Taking refuge in the shade
Amongst entwining trees.
As I would feel for her soft touch
And draw her into me,
I gazed into her twinkling eyes
And felt my heart beat free.
She lay her head upon my chest
As enchanting nature thrived,
I knew right then what I must do;
Before twilight arrived.
Whilst holding hands down by the creek
Where fishes all ran through,
I sought to find the words to say
To make my love sound true.
She listened well but only sighed
This girl I did adore,
A bitter-sweet kiss, upon my lips
Then left me with no more.
*
I remember when we would both laugh
About such trivial things,
I felt the time would soar right by
From happiness he would bring.
I saw him struggle with his words
This poor, sweet simple boy,
He did not know, nor never will;
He could not be my joy.
I needed someone who could stand
Beside me at all times,
This summer romance would only be
Momentarily sublime.
We were both from separate worlds
But I did not understand,
That love did too thrive between us
With each caress of his hand.
His hair as dark as the night sky
Would stay with me for years,
As I kept his soft spoken voice
Out of my guilty ears.
I thought about him often
Our once but only kiss,
Our days with roses in full bloom
I would dreadfully miss.
Now his features fade to a blur
And I find myself content,
With my beloved by my side,
Nevermore to lament.
*
I envision her so often still
Whilst I meander in
This nature’s trail of broken dreams
Made from my hearts first sin.
Author notes
I wrote this as a background for Hardy's "Her Immortality
The first 7 stanzas are of the man speaking
The next 7 are of the woman speaking
The last stanza is the man again.
I tried to make the reason she left him ambiguous though i think its tending towards the fact they were having an affair because of the title including sin but he could think loving is a sin now if he was shot down so badly haha, but it could be their class, or the fact he is younger or anything.
Think it fits quite nicely in with the whole once lovers now strangers theme!
In a list
A contest entry
- Once lovers,now strangers by Princess-nee.
900 points, ended November 2, 24 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
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I can see why you won the gold on this, it has great meaning, flow and metering, nice job.
-
Wow I love this poem.It really touched me.The way you have written in both the girl and boy's view point,made it more beautiful
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purely and simply amazing. the whole piece has that first love, glistening feel in the beginning, and then the sadness of a first heartbreak weaves throughout the middle. a great write. best wishes and good luck in the contest.
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excellent write muffin, I enjoyed this very much. Your rhyme scheme, flawless, the flow of the poem also well done. I love the sing song feel I get from this and the words were so well chosen and fit in perfectly with your theme. Good luck in the contest dear, this deserves some serious attention
xoxo
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