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the very now (a prose poem)






1

when i was little, i thought i belonged to the night. i thought time flowed through me like sand through my fingers every time i try and hold on tighter, and that someday my number would be called and my body would be smeared across the plastic battery case powering the entire universe. i think that when i die, it will be messy. i think i’ll feel it coming with the bare minimum of notice and try, in that last small moment, to turn myself into someone with dignity. i’ll sit up straight and smile and i’ll die politely.


2

she kept talking this and that about the boys she loved or didn’t, and said she wished she wouldn’t fall in love, she wished she wouldn’t be hurt again. and i thought, i want to be with you just because we can. i want to kiss you just because we’re here. i love you madly but it doesn’t have to matter. i’d hold you always but you don’t have to need me. i feel you tomorrow and the next day and all of them are empty days but this one. we’re already so ancient, already so scratched and faded in our skin. we’re peeling and burning in the sun but we just keep looking skyward. whatever we’re waiting for isn’t coming, and i’m so tired of searching.







Author notes

This was written in April of this year.

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Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • Not-The-Sun silver member
    1 day ago
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    uhmm; do you mind me swearing?

    fuck; this poem rocks.

    in the first stanza, I particularly love:
    plastic battery case powering the entire universe. i think that when i die, it will be messy


    and the second stanza makes me wish I knew you, because that is sooooo gorgeous and powerful and just ahh, amazing. touching, if you don't mind me saying.

    this is one of my favorites by you bookmarkyyy!! : )


    • Connor Blackbird
      1 day ago
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      Thank you Jordan!! (do you mind me using your real name?)

      Sorry I've been so lackadaisical commenting poetry. Wrestling eats my life, excuses blah blah excuses blah. I really need to read/comment some of your stuff soon :\


  • tidoubleguher
    October 30

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    The first line was my favorite line, the second stanza was my favorite stanza. Your strengths are most definitely in prose; this piece was shining.

  • Rowan gold member
    October 27

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    Ahh, to die politely...
    yeah. I loved the first paragraph best. You write prose very well, kept my attention, which isn't easy, I have the attention span of a gnat, somedays. lol.


  • Mango Memories gold member
    October 27

    Edit | Reply
    Bravo. Bravooo!!!


    Your metaphores here are just spectacular.

1 - 6 of 6