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together, we are thunderstorms




how gorgeous it
is to be this
much in love.

a teacup of
steam, cream
and sugar.

we reign over
mountains.

we pour;

A contest entry

be honest. I won't put you on my ignore list. :)

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • PrInCeSsOfRoCk gold member
    November 3

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    beautiful. Gave me tingles really well done and deserved that shiney gold.

    Congrats


  • notorious
    October 27
    Edit | Reply
    There's something so wry about your voice


  • righteousme
    October 27

    Edit | Reply
    i love when a short piece like this one makes all the difference ... thanks for sharing ... and that last line was WONDERFUL ...


  • AAA Taurus The Bull gold member
    October 27

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    Good

    I thought this was great a great piece of poetry very well written piece, not hard to follow. a wonderful take on life. I love the form too, keep up the good work a powerfully done. Alexander QQ…



  • crivanea silver member
    October 26

    Edit | Reply
    hmmm.there is so much about this poem that give me mix feelings...in the first stanza i find it to be plain..but simple and effective..and the second stanza i love how you did your end break..in the last 3 lines you tied it back to the title..very nice clever..and a wonderful take on the prompt ..well done


  • Not-The-Sun silver member
    October 26

    Edit | Reply
    the ending is phenomenal;
    "we reign over
    mountains.

    we pour;"

    the last line, alone, just makes the WHOLE piece a thousand times more powerful, meaningful, and beautiful. fantastic work!

1 - 6 of 6