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[ Who needed a fuckin' ocean? ]

Who needed a fuckin' ocean?

 

We bought bags of sand

and flooded our land

to make a private paradise,

 

and crushed ice 

with rocks and laughed,

making the worst margaritas

anyone has ever had.

 

We sculpted the clouds, 

drew on the stars

and made love

under the sun for all to see.

 

Now, the skies are unmolded mud

splattered on an empty canvas,

and I'm just fucked.

 

I guess she needed the ocean.

 

 

 

 

Honesty only.

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Comments


  • Catie Sheeran gold member
    November 10
    Edit | Reply
    Good stuff


  • george the 23rd
    November 3

    Edit | Reply
    Okay! First time I actually strolled through... Good voice, man. There's a nice cynical humor to this write that stands out to me. The last stanza is killer. I love the poetic buildup and then- "and I'm just fucked." YES. Sometimes the blunt object statement can be a poetic device. (see Cinnarry)...


  • Andiness
    October 30
    Edit | Reply
    I loved this...especially the bit about the margaritas

    -Andi


  • DanO
    October 26
    Edit | Reply

    Hahahaa

    That was pretty clever! not a bad piece.