The carousel no longer turns,
and last night's stars are fading;
yesterday, I felt safe in your embrace.
Author notes
prompt: http://lovers-nocturne.deviantart.com/art/I-miss-my-childhood-141536806
A contest entry
- quickie♥ by Kathraina.
525 points, ended October 28, 7 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Suggestions?
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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so much said...felt..in so few words......masterful!
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wow, this is soooo beautiful! i love your words here, they wrapped around my heart. its stunning and yet somehow mournful. i love it!
bravo and thank you for entering
♥ kate -
This is so sad as you have written volumes in this short verse. I like what this poem doesn’t say because it leaves the reader with so many options.
Love,
Amera
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I always thought there was something a bit lonely about a carousel for some reason. Maybe that's why~ it's a piece of childhood that holds a lure for that time in your life.
A few short lines and you've created the bittersweet lonely feel of a comfort leaving.
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Beautifully sad my friend.
Hope you do well with this snippet write.
Ken
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conveys a notable sadness without physically stating that loneliness. beautifully written
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Wow, this is such a great thought for this prompt! Very powerful and I love the carousel line. All the best to you with it here!
Jeremy0826 -
amazing how you worked your poem backwards, from the future (lack of turining of carousel) to today to yesterday. increddddible creativity;
my favorite line is "The carousel no longer turns". I am SO jealous of your talent; I always learn a lot when I read your works. thanks for sharing, go get a shiny trophy for this
it's worth it!
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wow words are pretty powerful!!
wonderfully penned
Love and blessings
Rend
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pwerrty ans sad
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This makes me feel like... Awwww!~ Good luck!
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Absolutely wonderful. Really loved that carousel line, I think this is the first time I saw it used in poetry. I think they are beautiful, but not as beautiful as this piece. Great job.
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