Choice… Revisited

Choices made
Future written…

I like this
Going through the women
“Who’s the One?
Not her
Definitely not her…
Though she was great in bed”

Years pass by
The tally rises
Then I see her…

Her hair… beautiful
Her eyes… piercing
Her smile… warming

We talk…
Is she an angel?

I can’t help feeling inadequate
I don’t deserve her

I bury my feelings deep
She’s out of my league

Months go by
My life continues
The women come and go
But I remain here
Sinking
Into the realisation of my failings

Suddenly the angel returns
Speaking of her feelings… FOR ME!

I can’t believe this!
I don’t deserve this!
The Beauty and the Beast is just a clich&#;
But it’s true

My feelings flood me
A tidal wave of change

I don’t deserve her
But I can’t get her out of my head!

I retreat into my mind
Into my home

Burn everything
Burn the guilt
Burn the porno
Burn the shame

I came to the list in my mind
The women long past…
I light the match
It doesn’t catch!
It won’t leave
A tattoo on my soul

The anger rises
I can’t take this!
The one thing killing
The possibility of a beautiful future…
Is an ugly past…

She stands beside me
My heart on my sleeve
My sins displayed for all to see

I can hear her breath
Softly flowing from her lips
Her presence is intoxicating

She sighs sadly at my shame
And walks forever from me…

Choices made
Future written…