People Should Know

My mind thinks for itself.
No control.
I try and try and force myself to believe so much more that is not nearly real,
nor possible.
Where is my sanity?
Why won't it show itself?
You say to me so many words that are meant to be heard.
I reply with meaning.
But really, do either really see what needs to be seen?
For instance, do I see what you intend for me to?
You don't see what I'd hope.
They'd said to me, "God will guide you forever."
But there is no guidance.
No arms to walk into.
However, there is emptiness.
And lots of it.
Enjoy.
Please forgive me for my ignorance.
I refuse to open to possible lies, and many deceits.
To look around, and remember something you've never seen;
hope for someone to do the same.
Please see me for me.
I love many things, but disregard others.
I may say things I don't mean;
telling words to draw your eyes.
I will not be upfront,
and you will just never understand.
I wish I could tell you.
Scream it and make you realize.
But that would be just too easy.
End it quickly.
Try to decide what I announce.
Here's a hint I thought not to give:
A prince I wish for is not, in all respects, there.
Why is it that I abuse myself with my own stupidity?
I want my way to be the way.
Corrections and facts are what I live for.
But then I think...
I THINK.
For thinking is not factual.
Questions with no answers.
Answering what I wish not to hear.
Struggle and push.
Ways that are not meant, but will
Be.